The Lord has blessed Santa Barbara County with thunderstorms, and on a rainy day, hot chocolate is one of your best friends.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Today...
The Lord has blessed Santa Barbara County with thunderstorms, and on a rainy day, hot chocolate is one of your best friends.
Monday, October 18, 2010
Surrendering to the Lord always
Today is Monday and each day my life becomes a little less ordinary. Ever since December of 2009, I have felt a stirring in my life of discontent. In a year I have learned to trust the Lord more and become radical in my faith. I am quitting my job and stepping out in faith to see how I could be used by the Lord. Dying to self and worries everyday is on my breath and in my prayers. I have changes that need to happen in my life and the only person who can canon ball into the Jordan river, trusting the Lord will keep me safe around the rushing waters, is me. God will be there. I need to trust and step out in His strength. Remembering Psalm 125 and Hebrews 11:8.
Psalm 125
1 Those who trust in the LORD are like Mount Zion,
which cannot be shaken but endures forever.
2 As the mountains surround Jerusalem,
so the LORD surrounds his people
both now and forevermore.
3 The scepter of the wicked will not remain
over the land allotted to the righteous,
for then the righteous might use
their hands to do evil.
4 Do good, O LORD, to those who are good,
to those who are upright in heart.
5 But those who turn to crooked ways
the LORD will banish with the evildoers.
Peace be upon Israel.
Hebrews 11:8
8 By faith Abraham, when called to go to a place he would later receive as his inheritance, obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going.
Psalm 125
1 Those who trust in the LORD are like Mount Zion,
which cannot be shaken but endures forever.
2 As the mountains surround Jerusalem,
so the LORD surrounds his people
both now and forevermore.
3 The scepter of the wicked will not remain
over the land allotted to the righteous,
for then the righteous might use
their hands to do evil.
4 Do good, O LORD, to those who are good,
to those who are upright in heart.
5 But those who turn to crooked ways
the LORD will banish with the evildoers.
Peace be upon Israel.
Hebrews 11:8
8 By faith Abraham, when called to go to a place he would later receive as his inheritance, obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going.
Sunday, October 17, 2010
The Savior and His Salvation for us.
Dear Cass
Thank you, so much, I have looked for that phone for 2 weeks.
I was sure it was here somewhere, still loaded with 2 months of service
will buy a new one soon.
Ah well.
Life is good, the summer is finally over.
God has been on my side and very close to me for the last few months
I enjoy praying first to the Holy Spirit asking for the motivation and strength
to see God's Path, and to follow.
I just surrender it all, Put it all in the hands of the Lord.
My prayers are always answered in ways unlooked for, and the beauty of the results are more than I ever imagined.
It is amazing ,
I used to listen to "Born Again" people and they would talk about how wonderful it is. I always thought I was a good person, but I never felt what they were describing. So I prayed asking to be "let in to the club" , and it began unfolding for me.
I think of you often , because you have helped me along my path.
I am just very happy, after a lifetime of searching, I can see my way.
Love You
Alan
Thank you, so much, I have looked for that phone for 2 weeks.
I was sure it was here somewhere, still loaded with 2 months of service
will buy a new one soon.
Ah well.
Life is good, the summer is finally over.
God has been on my side and very close to me for the last few months
I enjoy praying first to the Holy Spirit asking for the motivation and strength
to see God's Path, and to follow.
I just surrender it all, Put it all in the hands of the Lord.
My prayers are always answered in ways unlooked for, and the beauty of the results are more than I ever imagined.
It is amazing ,
I used to listen to "Born Again" people and they would talk about how wonderful it is. I always thought I was a good person, but I never felt what they were describing. So I prayed asking to be "let in to the club" , and it began unfolding for me.
I think of you often , because you have helped me along my path.
I am just very happy, after a lifetime of searching, I can see my way.
Love You
Alan
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Saturday, March 15, 2008
It has been a week...
Last Monday I said farewell to my Aunt. I only said bye for a little while, cause I am totally going to bite the bullet and visit Wisconsin again.
It feels like only yesterday I was living with her in her house in VC. (Big Sigh) Memories. This morning I woke up and felt a sense of confusion, I did not like it. I am pretty sure everyone can relate to this uncomfortable feeling. I like to call it Satan's time. I have found that, in this time (morning) Satan is able to play with my emotions more...weird? No...you are half awake and half asleep, what better time to make you think things you shouldn't be thinking, right? Right.
For the past many weekends and some weekdays, I have gone down to VC and hung out with my Aunt, whether it was painting walls, watching a movie or simply going out to dinner.
I lived in her house for a good 3 1/2 years! A house she lived in for over 20! A house I would come visit as an 8 year old! Dude! Your moving away! Weird! Moving to Wisconsin...hmmmm, they have cheese there...curdle...cheese...cheese curds?
My point is...I miss my Aunt.
It feels like only yesterday I was living with her in her house in VC. (Big Sigh) Memories. This morning I woke up and felt a sense of confusion, I did not like it. I am pretty sure everyone can relate to this uncomfortable feeling. I like to call it Satan's time. I have found that, in this time (morning) Satan is able to play with my emotions more...weird? No...you are half awake and half asleep, what better time to make you think things you shouldn't be thinking, right? Right.
For the past many weekends and some weekdays, I have gone down to VC and hung out with my Aunt, whether it was painting walls, watching a movie or simply going out to dinner.
I lived in her house for a good 3 1/2 years! A house she lived in for over 20! A house I would come visit as an 8 year old! Dude! Your moving away! Weird! Moving to Wisconsin...hmmmm, they have cheese there...curdle...cheese...cheese curds?
My point is...I miss my Aunt.
Lately...
Anytime anyone says anything about New York, my ear leans to listen intently. I miss that place so much! And I only lived there for 3 months. One of these days, I will go back and you know what, it won't be the same...unfortunately nothing is really ever the same. But we can always have a an experience that tops the last. I can picture it...flying back, we round over the Atlantic ocean as I see the shape of Manhattan in the distance. We land in Brooklyn take the E and 7 train to Grand Central Station. While on the subway we are underground then above ground then underground. I get off the train and walk though the terminal, as I hear the melodies of un-published artists singing and playing their choice of instruments because their life depends on it, with passion for something other than hearing their own voices. I finally make it to the outside. I step out and take a deep breath of something amazing! A city of people with amazing things and places to offer. Yes I am still talking about New York. But! I run back in to Grand Central, because I forgot my favorite cheesecake. Also because I need to take another train. I get on the North Haven train to Connecticut. To go visit my Aunts. Can be continued...
That would be such an ideal trip. To go back to New York and feel the joy and freedom I had there. Why is New York more magical to me than other places? Probably like Israel, the people are diverse and there are so many things to learn there, plus a presence.
Lately, New York has been on my mind a lot. I finally ordered a cheese cake from Juniors, My dad is going to be going back to a Yankee's game soon, I believe at the end of April AND we deal with a lot of clients at work from NY, also the The World Trade Center tragedy...now I was googling some stuff on it and found this video which was exactly what I was looking for. Why? I don't know. I think it is truely a miracle how tragedy can show glory. That day God was there...
Visiting Ground Zero when I was live there was so peaceful. I know, how could it be peaceful, right, so many people died there. Well, as I said the Lord was there. Through this tragedy many great and not so great things have come out of it. Strength, endurance, knowing we aren't alone and we need something greater than this world. That is what I feel when I go to New York, something greater than me. But the most important thing I have learned from this is faith. Faith in something greater than us that is backed up by archaeological, historical truth that coincides with the Bible, the Word of God. If you have ANY emotion to this video, that means you are a live with a conscious. Where does that conscious come from? Only you can seek, find and listen to the right answers.
As I watch this video, I see things that I have physically seen. My mind runs back to the buildings which still to this day have boards on them. Architecture still ruined and waiting to be fixed. The feel of the earth still but wasn't so still. Man's terror getting cleaned up by peace.
Have you ever wondered what you would have done if you were in the towers just about to die. Some people jumped out of the building! I could never do that! Me, personally, I would get some paper and write on it. John 3:17-21
For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because he has not believed in the name of God's one and only Son. This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but men loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that his deeds will be exposed. But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what he has done has been done through God."
I would make paper airplanes and send them out into the streets of hysteria. You might say why only John 3:17-21 and not 3:16? Well how many of us know 3:16 and not 17-21.
I know each airplane would have a purpose in making it to someone who needed it. Now, yes I would be freaking out because I am about to die, but with me being a Christian sometimes we have to accept our death on this earth and make the best of it. I have had many dreams of me being in elevators, airplanes, situations where I am going to die and you know what, I am so use to them now, in my dream I start to pray. When believers die we go home. I know not freaking out is easier said than done, but to not be rational when you are about to die is like eating dill pickles on top of rocky road ice cream. It is do able but many people don't think of eating it.
We have on life, live it with know why you are here, understand your purpose.
That would be such an ideal trip. To go back to New York and feel the joy and freedom I had there. Why is New York more magical to me than other places? Probably like Israel, the people are diverse and there are so many things to learn there, plus a presence.
Lately, New York has been on my mind a lot. I finally ordered a cheese cake from Juniors, My dad is going to be going back to a Yankee's game soon, I believe at the end of April AND we deal with a lot of clients at work from NY, also the The World Trade Center tragedy...now I was googling some stuff on it and found this video which was exactly what I was looking for. Why? I don't know. I think it is truely a miracle how tragedy can show glory. That day God was there...
Visiting Ground Zero when I was live there was so peaceful. I know, how could it be peaceful, right, so many people died there. Well, as I said the Lord was there. Through this tragedy many great and not so great things have come out of it. Strength, endurance, knowing we aren't alone and we need something greater than this world. That is what I feel when I go to New York, something greater than me. But the most important thing I have learned from this is faith. Faith in something greater than us that is backed up by archaeological, historical truth that coincides with the Bible, the Word of God. If you have ANY emotion to this video, that means you are a live with a conscious. Where does that conscious come from? Only you can seek, find and listen to the right answers.
As I watch this video, I see things that I have physically seen. My mind runs back to the buildings which still to this day have boards on them. Architecture still ruined and waiting to be fixed. The feel of the earth still but wasn't so still. Man's terror getting cleaned up by peace.
Have you ever wondered what you would have done if you were in the towers just about to die. Some people jumped out of the building! I could never do that! Me, personally, I would get some paper and write on it. John 3:17-21
For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because he has not believed in the name of God's one and only Son. This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but men loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that his deeds will be exposed. But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what he has done has been done through God."
I would make paper airplanes and send them out into the streets of hysteria. You might say why only John 3:17-21 and not 3:16? Well how many of us know 3:16 and not 17-21.
I know each airplane would have a purpose in making it to someone who needed it. Now, yes I would be freaking out because I am about to die, but with me being a Christian sometimes we have to accept our death on this earth and make the best of it. I have had many dreams of me being in elevators, airplanes, situations where I am going to die and you know what, I am so use to them now, in my dream I start to pray. When believers die we go home. I know not freaking out is easier said than done, but to not be rational when you are about to die is like eating dill pickles on top of rocky road ice cream. It is do able but many people don't think of eating it.
We have on life, live it with know why you are here, understand your purpose.
Friday, March 14, 2008
...Words...Words...Words An Evening of One Act Plays
Tonight...
My friend Kate, is a drama teacher at a school in Santa Barbara and she put a show with her students acting in it. So cute! I have not been to an actually HS play in forever. The students performed: Ah, Eurydice! by Stanley Taikeff, Weightless by Sarah Cuddon and The Fifteen Minute Hamlet by Tom Stoppard. My favorite, of coarse was The Fifteen Minute Hamlet! Anything Shakespeare I am there! Regardless of my favorite they were all good! So great job kids of Providence Hall and you rock Kate!
My friend Kate, is a drama teacher at a school in Santa Barbara and she put a show with her students acting in it. So cute! I have not been to an actually HS play in forever. The students performed: Ah, Eurydice! by Stanley Taikeff, Weightless by Sarah Cuddon and The Fifteen Minute Hamlet by Tom Stoppard. My favorite, of coarse was The Fifteen Minute Hamlet! Anything Shakespeare I am there! Regardless of my favorite they were all good! So great job kids of Providence Hall and you rock Kate!
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
This is what I learned today...interesting...
Amazing recovery attributed to cord blood.The 2-year-old son of the Sacramento, Calif., couple was diagnosed with cerebral palsy, but is now showing fewer signs of the disorder and marked improvement after an infusion of his own stem cells — made possible by the preservation of his own cord blood shortly before birth.
Friday, March 7, 2008
Thanks a lix it is Friday!
Today I feel like I got licked by this huge tongue! This is the kind of lick that gets you by surprise and just makes you cringe all the way up! Hilarious but not pleasant, what can I say…it is Friday…one of those days where you are toast even if you see it coming.
Friday is like many things I don’t understand. Why are we so brain-dead on Friday’s? It isn’t like we stopped living or thinking or filling up our schedule on Saturday’s and Sunday’s, well I don’t anyways. Relax most of the time is not in my schedule. Lol! I guess I have to schedule in some relaxing time.
Off the subject…so today, I have been thinking of random questions. Why? Probably because it is Friday or something?!? I don’t know, but it started when I was at Starbucks this morning and they were playing Phil Collins on the radio.
1. What happened to Phil Collins?
These are questions that maybe one day they will get answered and maybe they won’t. I guess they aren’t that important…huh? Anyways, I will ask and most likely down the road I will read my Blog, when I am 75ish and have them answered…right?
2. What do I want to be when I grow up? I kind of have that figured out but, we will see, the big Guy might have different plans than I do.
3. Why do I still have my lingering cough from the flu?
4. Why does spaghetti leave a yellow/orange-ish residue in Tupperware?
5. Why can one not go to Costco and buy 1 thing?
6. Why do we take on others anxieties?
7. Why do we want things we can’t have and not want what we have?
8. You hit 26 and it feels like your body falls apart! Why?!?!
9. What does this all mean? Lol! Yeah…I don’t know!
10. Heaven is like no other place on earth…is anyone scared to go?
11. What if you missed your chance to go to Heaven will you know before you die?
12. Why did the Truth stick with some and not others? Should we be sad evil is going with evil? Or happy? But then in Heaven it is all pure…hmmm…
If I don’t stop now I might just keep on asking questions. Blah…
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Monday, February 25, 2008
I have the FLU...
Ladies and Gentlemen, it is not pretty.
I left work early on Friday and went to the doctor. (BIG SIGH!) Long story short, they stuck a skinny long Q tip way up my nose, way up, so uncomfortable, but it is the only way they could test for the flu. And what do you know! I had the flu with a 101 temperature. Grrr...that was only the first day. I was miserable.
The good thing is...is that it was the first 24 hours of it. If you catch the flu withint he first 48 hours they can give you a preventative antibotic. So nice.
Friday - went to the doctor and stayed in bed all day
Saturday - went to blockbuster and stayed in the living room
Sunday - finally got out and went for a walk
Monday - back to work, but my head isn't in the game
The doctor said it would take 4-5 days to get over. I can't even imagine, if I would not have caught it with in 48 hours. Yikes!
Now, I truely believe that my prayers were answered. Friday, I prayed for healing cause I felt so bad. And by Monday I am back to work where I started on Friday? Huh? Awesome! :)
I left work early on Friday and went to the doctor. (BIG SIGH!) Long story short, they stuck a skinny long Q tip way up my nose, way up, so uncomfortable, but it is the only way they could test for the flu. And what do you know! I had the flu with a 101 temperature. Grrr...that was only the first day. I was miserable.
The good thing is...is that it was the first 24 hours of it. If you catch the flu withint he first 48 hours they can give you a preventative antibotic. So nice.
Friday - went to the doctor and stayed in bed all day
Saturday - went to blockbuster and stayed in the living room
Sunday - finally got out and went for a walk
Monday - back to work, but my head isn't in the game
The doctor said it would take 4-5 days to get over. I can't even imagine, if I would not have caught it with in 48 hours. Yikes!
Now, I truely believe that my prayers were answered. Friday, I prayed for healing cause I felt so bad. And by Monday I am back to work where I started on Friday? Huh? Awesome! :)
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
F.MY.I
Some days I feel like I am in my own personal hell. Yuck! It isn't as bad as hell but some days you just can't see the end of the tunnel. Like today...it wasn't the world that made it bad, it was me in the world that make it awful. And things just kept creeping up on me. Yuck!
Sunday, January 20, 2008
When Harry Met Sally
Okay...Thank you Ms Clay for introducing me to this amazing movie. I never wanted to watch it, why? I don't know! I thought it was old or something and I wouldn't be able to relate. Well, I have something really important to tell myself, tomorrow, You will be one year older and you can sooooo relate. Not to everything, maybe just the part were guys and girls can't be friends. Hmmm...Yeah, I still don't know. Where did the time go.
Conclusion, don't be afraid of older movies and don't judge a film by its cast.
Some quotes from the movie:
Harry Burns: There are two kinds of women: high maintenance and low maintenance.
Sally Albright: Which one am I?
Harry Burns: You're the worst kind. You're high maintenance but you think you're low maintenance.
_____________________________________
Sally Albright: But I'd like the pie heated and I don't want the ice cream on top, I want it on the side, and I'd like strawberry instead of vanilla if you have it, if not then no ice cream just whipped cream but only if it's real; if it's out of the can then nothing.
Waitress: Not even the pie?
Sally Albright: No, I want the pie, but then not heated.
__________________________________
Harry Burns: Repeat after me. Pepper.
Sally Albright: Pepper.
Harry Burns: Pepper.
Sally Albright: Pepper.
Harry Burns: Waiter, there is too much pepper on my paprikash.
Sally Albright: Waiter, there is too much pepper on my paprikash.
Harry Burns: But I would be proud to partake of your pecan pie.
Conclusion, don't be afraid of older movies and don't judge a film by its cast.
Some quotes from the movie:
Harry Burns: There are two kinds of women: high maintenance and low maintenance.
Sally Albright: Which one am I?
Harry Burns: You're the worst kind. You're high maintenance but you think you're low maintenance.
_____________________________________
Sally Albright: But I'd like the pie heated and I don't want the ice cream on top, I want it on the side, and I'd like strawberry instead of vanilla if you have it, if not then no ice cream just whipped cream but only if it's real; if it's out of the can then nothing.
Waitress: Not even the pie?
Sally Albright: No, I want the pie, but then not heated.
__________________________________
Harry Burns: Repeat after me. Pepper.
Sally Albright: Pepper.
Harry Burns: Pepper.
Sally Albright: Pepper.
Harry Burns: Waiter, there is too much pepper on my paprikash.
Sally Albright: Waiter, there is too much pepper on my paprikash.
Harry Burns: But I would be proud to partake of your pecan pie.
Saturday, January 19, 2008
Turning point
If anyone ever says being a follower of Christ is easy, well...can they really be a believer? Sure, why not! It is not for us to judge who is and who isn't, but, if everything in life was perfect wouldn't you feel like you are in your own little hell? My walk, as a believer, got more difficult when I decided to run towards Calvary. My memory has a fresh idea of a significant turning point in my faith. Wonderfully enough it was through a prayer I prayed from the Word of God. Psalm 139:23-24, Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. After this prayer life was never the same. Test me an know my anxious thoughts! Oh boy! Cassie you are asking for it! These verses are asking God to explore your fleshly heart and point out what the god of this world has done or is doing for you. Some may call it a conscious, being aware or awake of metal decisions.
After praying this, my heart has been convicted of so many things that I have done that DO NOT help my walk with Jesus. Also, life was never the same, I received an instant answer to prayer. Things were coming and convicting me from my past, especially my present and future!
Example:
Past: Past relationships with boyfriends that had no purpose in my life at the time, but somehow the Lord turned it around for good to unveil my eyes to show me where I don't need to go. I kind of feel like Abraham and Sarah in Genesis. Trying to create something in my life before God wants me to have it. Hmmm...
Present: Where I work, at a online photo stock agency as a Content Manager. All the content (photo) that comes in I see or am subjected to in some way. Now not everyone has a mind with peaches and rose, so I see things that my flesh wants to indulge in whether it be sexual or distorted ideas of this world. I try to do searches for flowers a lot! Lol!
Future: Being obedient! And choosing the right road to take when life separates. Before I let go and let God into my heart, I was hard. I still am. Things I want for myself necessarily aren't what God wants for you or me in the future. Now, sitting here thinking that you are suppose to listen to something you can't see, hear, feel, taste or smell. Seem a little crazy in our society. But can your senses be aware of the unknown? You can SEE answered prayers and miracles everyday. HEAR, if you listen closely or tune your channel to God you can sense everything he is telling you, whether it be from the Word, other people, signs, feelings, est. FEELING the Lord is the most joyous, wonderful, amazing, comfortable sensation I have ever felt. I feel his grace and mercy every time I repent and get over myself. TASTE, one of my favorites! I am sure Juniors carrot cake cheesecake is a little piece of heaven in NYC. Hahaha! The land is flowing with milk and honey, we can taste Gods creations everyday. SMELLING the flowers, fresh pines or the ocean breeze is a miracle in its self. God is everywhere. He finds you everyday. You have to take the time to find him and his Will for your life. Because His Will, will win in the end, regardless.
So my encouragement to you and myself everyday is, die to yourself. Don't be so suborn to think you are just who you are and life just is what life is just because. There is a bigger purpose out there, find it!
After praying this, my heart has been convicted of so many things that I have done that DO NOT help my walk with Jesus. Also, life was never the same, I received an instant answer to prayer. Things were coming and convicting me from my past, especially my present and future!
Example:
Past: Past relationships with boyfriends that had no purpose in my life at the time, but somehow the Lord turned it around for good to unveil my eyes to show me where I don't need to go. I kind of feel like Abraham and Sarah in Genesis. Trying to create something in my life before God wants me to have it. Hmmm...
Present: Where I work, at a online photo stock agency as a Content Manager. All the content (photo) that comes in I see or am subjected to in some way. Now not everyone has a mind with peaches and rose, so I see things that my flesh wants to indulge in whether it be sexual or distorted ideas of this world. I try to do searches for flowers a lot! Lol!
Future: Being obedient! And choosing the right road to take when life separates. Before I let go and let God into my heart, I was hard. I still am. Things I want for myself necessarily aren't what God wants for you or me in the future. Now, sitting here thinking that you are suppose to listen to something you can't see, hear, feel, taste or smell. Seem a little crazy in our society. But can your senses be aware of the unknown? You can SEE answered prayers and miracles everyday. HEAR, if you listen closely or tune your channel to God you can sense everything he is telling you, whether it be from the Word, other people, signs, feelings, est. FEELING the Lord is the most joyous, wonderful, amazing, comfortable sensation I have ever felt. I feel his grace and mercy every time I repent and get over myself. TASTE, one of my favorites! I am sure Juniors carrot cake cheesecake is a little piece of heaven in NYC. Hahaha! The land is flowing with milk and honey, we can taste Gods creations everyday. SMELLING the flowers, fresh pines or the ocean breeze is a miracle in its self. God is everywhere. He finds you everyday. You have to take the time to find him and his Will for your life. Because His Will, will win in the end, regardless.
So my encouragement to you and myself everyday is, die to yourself. Don't be so suborn to think you are just who you are and life just is what life is just because. There is a bigger purpose out there, find it!
Friday, January 18, 2008
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Women's retreat...not so much :/
Tonight we had our follow up prayer meeting for our Women's retreat. Many women will say they had a moving time and feel so refreshed...hmmm, well that wasn't the case of faith for me. Before I went to the retreat, I felt like there would be a moving of some kind, I just didn't know what. What kind of moving? ?Yo no se?
I wasn't very excited to attend the women's retreat. When I first heard of the gathering, I wasn't sure I was going to go. But, that wasn't in God's plan or the plan of a handful of women, who knew me. At the point of signing up for the retreat, I had no money, No Money! But, the Lord provided. I had 2 women offer to pay my way. I wasn't so comfortable with that, meaning I wasn't humble enough to accept a helping hand. Of coarse my flesh rejected and justified, the out cry of my sisters to support me, but then the church got involve, oh boyeeee....not condemning by any means but, helping and firmly suggesting I go and they would pay for it. #3, my 3rd offer. Okay, okay I submit. I'll go. Coming aside with all my scholarship offers, I had women left and right asking me if I was going? Even women I barely knew were saying things like, I didn't see your name on the list last week but I am glad it is there this week, I was wondering if you were going.
Through all of these checks and balances, I felt there was a purpose for me to go, like the Lord is going to do a great work in me or something. Hmmm...I still wasn't excited. Gosh!
A vision for this retreat came to me at the last prayer meeting we had before we left to be Women of War. I pictured all of us Armored, standing in a front line all together. No one way behind or already in the battle. We were all unified, taking an immovable firm stand against the enemy. Warriors for the Lord. It reminds me of a time at my Uncle's funeral. After the ceremony I stuck with grandmother. I was immovable. My uncle didn't have the most upright friends of this world, so while all of the attendees were saying there condolences to my grams, these interesting friends of my belated uncle's walked up to her as she sat in her wheelchair. I felt her discomfort and lack of wanting to have attention. It was like shoving, over cooked mushy broccoli in a child's face, who doesn't want to eat it. How much of that can be ignored? Again as they approached, I firmly put my hand on her shoulder to let her know, even though she couldn't see me I was there and I wasn't leaving. She raised her hand and put it on mine in acceptance of my strength for her to be obedient. Warriors, taking command and having strength in a God they can't see or most of the time can't feel until they submit and meet at a God chosen point.
I wish I could say during the women's retreat, I fought the good fight and put my hand on the Lords, but I didn't. The weekend was a struggle for me. I had no desire to go or stay. My dear accountability partner/best friend was suppose to drive and be there with me, but wasn't able to go. Bummer. This put up my defenses. When I was there, I wanted to be alone, I was tired, I didn't want to deal with anything or anyone. I fell asleep during the session on Saturday night and actually the whole weekend, my eyes would roll in the back of my head from being exhausted during all the speakers. I was fighting to stay awake. I didn't sleep well at the retreat. I was struggling with sleeping arrangements and scheduling, est. As you can tell pretty much everything was a challenge. Grrr...
Leaving the retreat I felt guilty, I didn't pay for my time there and I felt like I didn't show up to fight. I let Satan have a huge strong hold on me. The spiritual warfare was so thick and present, I wasn't prepared for it. Haha! This is were Satan looses! I was there! From his attempt to totally take me down, I KNOW where my salvation lies. With God and not the god of this world. Yes, my weekend wasn't what most think it should be, but! I walked away with a spirit of knowledge. I learned how I need to prepare more in prayer and actions before I go to battle. I was caught off guard because I didn't listen to the warning signs of my fellow warriors that I was suppose to go and be immovable against my flesh who was rejecting this time of accomplishing wisdom in battle. A type of battle that was new to me. This is were the Lord is so graceful and merciful. My body got nothing but sickness and torment out of the weekend, but my mind and spirit received a gift of realizing. Realizing I was there and I heard everything I needed to hear. I have been able to stand in the gap for the other women who didn't have a moving time, and relate to them and explain to them, that this was our chosen fight and did we win one for God? I have been able to use skills I learned in workshops to motivate others to hold on to faith in the Lord and study his word. I made new friends, realized goals I want to accomplish and so much more. Through my struggle I found revival that I have been waiting for. What felt like fleshly steps back were fighting spiritual jolts forward. Sweet! And I haven't backed down yet. Get behind me Satan, you have no power here. The Lord IS my Savor, life line and stronghold.
I wasn't very excited to attend the women's retreat. When I first heard of the gathering, I wasn't sure I was going to go. But, that wasn't in God's plan or the plan of a handful of women, who knew me. At the point of signing up for the retreat, I had no money, No Money! But, the Lord provided. I had 2 women offer to pay my way. I wasn't so comfortable with that, meaning I wasn't humble enough to accept a helping hand. Of coarse my flesh rejected and justified, the out cry of my sisters to support me, but then the church got involve, oh boyeeee....not condemning by any means but, helping and firmly suggesting I go and they would pay for it. #3, my 3rd offer. Okay, okay I submit. I'll go. Coming aside with all my scholarship offers, I had women left and right asking me if I was going? Even women I barely knew were saying things like, I didn't see your name on the list last week but I am glad it is there this week, I was wondering if you were going.
Through all of these checks and balances, I felt there was a purpose for me to go, like the Lord is going to do a great work in me or something. Hmmm...I still wasn't excited. Gosh!
A vision for this retreat came to me at the last prayer meeting we had before we left to be Women of War. I pictured all of us Armored, standing in a front line all together. No one way behind or already in the battle. We were all unified, taking an immovable firm stand against the enemy. Warriors for the Lord. It reminds me of a time at my Uncle's funeral. After the ceremony I stuck with grandmother. I was immovable. My uncle didn't have the most upright friends of this world, so while all of the attendees were saying there condolences to my grams, these interesting friends of my belated uncle's walked up to her as she sat in her wheelchair. I felt her discomfort and lack of wanting to have attention. It was like shoving, over cooked mushy broccoli in a child's face, who doesn't want to eat it. How much of that can be ignored? Again as they approached, I firmly put my hand on her shoulder to let her know, even though she couldn't see me I was there and I wasn't leaving. She raised her hand and put it on mine in acceptance of my strength for her to be obedient. Warriors, taking command and having strength in a God they can't see or most of the time can't feel until they submit and meet at a God chosen point.
I wish I could say during the women's retreat, I fought the good fight and put my hand on the Lords, but I didn't. The weekend was a struggle for me. I had no desire to go or stay. My dear accountability partner/best friend was suppose to drive and be there with me, but wasn't able to go. Bummer. This put up my defenses. When I was there, I wanted to be alone, I was tired, I didn't want to deal with anything or anyone. I fell asleep during the session on Saturday night and actually the whole weekend, my eyes would roll in the back of my head from being exhausted during all the speakers. I was fighting to stay awake. I didn't sleep well at the retreat. I was struggling with sleeping arrangements and scheduling, est. As you can tell pretty much everything was a challenge. Grrr...
Leaving the retreat I felt guilty, I didn't pay for my time there and I felt like I didn't show up to fight. I let Satan have a huge strong hold on me. The spiritual warfare was so thick and present, I wasn't prepared for it. Haha! This is were Satan looses! I was there! From his attempt to totally take me down, I KNOW where my salvation lies. With God and not the god of this world. Yes, my weekend wasn't what most think it should be, but! I walked away with a spirit of knowledge. I learned how I need to prepare more in prayer and actions before I go to battle. I was caught off guard because I didn't listen to the warning signs of my fellow warriors that I was suppose to go and be immovable against my flesh who was rejecting this time of accomplishing wisdom in battle. A type of battle that was new to me. This is were the Lord is so graceful and merciful. My body got nothing but sickness and torment out of the weekend, but my mind and spirit received a gift of realizing. Realizing I was there and I heard everything I needed to hear. I have been able to stand in the gap for the other women who didn't have a moving time, and relate to them and explain to them, that this was our chosen fight and did we win one for God? I have been able to use skills I learned in workshops to motivate others to hold on to faith in the Lord and study his word. I made new friends, realized goals I want to accomplish and so much more. Through my struggle I found revival that I have been waiting for. What felt like fleshly steps back were fighting spiritual jolts forward. Sweet! And I haven't backed down yet. Get behind me Satan, you have no power here. The Lord IS my Savor, life line and stronghold.
Monday, January 14, 2008
Dish drying racks...
...aren't my favorite. When we moved into our new place, Katie and Lisa wanted one. Well, I have one? I don't like them but I have one? Hmmm...explanation, I bought it for a shoot and never returned it, bummer. So, okay let's use it! Why not? Right?
I personal like to wash my dish, dry it and put it away. You can call me anial retentive, you can call me many things but don't call me dirty. Well, since I am sick, I lack in the drying dish area. I wash it then get tired and don't want to dry it and put it away. So what do I do? I look at the dish drying rack, have a few words with it, then use it. My heart changed! Wash your dish and let the air dry it for you. Okay obviously I need to go to bed because I am blogging about a dish drying rack. It is totally the Tylenol Cold Multi-Symptom Severe talking. I just thought, that making peace with the drying rack was a big step for me. Awkward!
I personal like to wash my dish, dry it and put it away. You can call me anial retentive, you can call me many things but don't call me dirty. Well, since I am sick, I lack in the drying dish area. I wash it then get tired and don't want to dry it and put it away. So what do I do? I look at the dish drying rack, have a few words with it, then use it. My heart changed! Wash your dish and let the air dry it for you. Okay obviously I need to go to bed because I am blogging about a dish drying rack. It is totally the Tylenol Cold Multi-Symptom Severe talking. I just thought, that making peace with the drying rack was a big step for me. Awkward!
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Finally Adjusting...a little
Since 2008, I have moved into a new apartment, started an amazing new job with the greatest people, rearranged my friends (sounds bad but not at all. I have a stronger core of inspirational fellowship), mindset is different; I am seeing more ways I can improve myself and goals I will obtain with the guidance of the Lord and most of all financial changes that are good and bad. This is just the tip of the iceberg and I love it!
Everything I have now is God's will. That is a big comfort. 2007 was very very difficult and 2008 most likely will be too but, everyday I find strength to preserver through the ruff times and grow through the word of God which is our best offense.
Everything I have now is God's will. That is a big comfort. 2007 was very very difficult and 2008 most likely will be too but, everyday I find strength to preserver through the ruff times and grow through the word of God which is our best offense.
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
The Lady, from a smart lady
From a Russian Bible translation of Psalm 8:2 "When the saints of God praise God, the devil has no voice."
When things seem crazy or you get down, just praise, praise, praise!!!!
When things seem crazy or you get down, just praise, praise, praise!!!!
Friday, December 14, 2007
Almost 8 days...
...and I will be moving to Carp. This morning Lisa, Katie and I sign our final rental info agreements. Oh Boyeeee! Leaving my situation now saddens me but gives me a joy I have been waiting to feel for quite sometime. I thank the Lord I am moving in with 2 amazing women who love the Lord just as much as I do. Plus, I think we all kind of have a soft spot for one another. Times are going to be interesting in the beginning because we are going to move our stuff in then leave for the holidays, well Lisa and I will be. Katie's parents are going to stay with her at the apartment for the holidays. Then some how in 2008 we will all meet again and learn. In a perfect world I picture all of us waking up singing "Good Day Sunshine" as we all work together, dancing and getting ready for the day. Hahaha! Weird! If Satan has his way this will not happen, there will be wedges between us. But as 3 strong Christian women, I have faith this will not happen because I have the song on my ipod and I will get Katie and Lisa in to mood to dance and sing. Lol! I will bribe them with taking out the trash and cleaning the bathroom for a week! Ahhhh!!! We are going to have chores! :)
For a while all 3 of us prayed for our situation. We will continue uniting in pray, because guess what, it works! A while ago when Lisa came to me and said, I need to move up to Carp and in with her. I thought she was crazy. I would love to but I am still going to school, I want to do internships in NY and LA. Maybe not live in Carp or VC anymore. Move out of a rent fee place? Didn't sound like a sane idea to me but good very good, intriguing. Well, I did my internships and some how ended up back in Ventura, confused. LA was okay, didn't really like it, NY was amazing, loved it, but I missed my family and friends, I was too far away. Many of my friends wanted me to stay in the area and threatened me in good ways for me to stay, I wanted me to stay. So I prayed and felt that I was suppose to stay but...Lord what am I going to do? I had amazing offers to work in LA, NY and Vegas. I went to school for a reason and SB is not the easiest place to work, survive and live. Why? After months of rejection, trials and having the worst job for 5 days, He delivered me, because I listened. Some may not know but I filled out my rental application and credit check without completing all info. Plus, I think I just quit my job 2 days before. NO JOB!!! Hello! Many people would say that is insane! I thought it was crazy! And there is no way I will get accepted! Unless the Lord opens up the door. I was so comforted because I prayed and leaned on God to guide me. I was going to need to move out of my place before March anyways, why not put my foot in the Jordan! Be crazy have faith, SUBMIT!!! Thank God I did! Now I am moving out and starting a great new job, which the Lord has provided. The coolest part about my job is the specific things I prayed for were revealed while I was applying for the job and given to me. Also more that expected, praise God! Ohhh...breathe. I at least know I am where to Lord wants me, but I can still mess it up. Let's not and say we didn't.
For my roomies come the 22nd of Dec. I pray the Lord blesses us with strong unified hearts. Comforts us in the trials we are going to face in our lives and delivers us from a lack of communication with each other. Bind our hearts with your love Jesus, Holy Spirt fill us up with your knowledge and joy and God bless us, like I know you have and will.
Lisa and Katie
For a while all 3 of us prayed for our situation. We will continue uniting in pray, because guess what, it works! A while ago when Lisa came to me and said, I need to move up to Carp and in with her. I thought she was crazy. I would love to but I am still going to school, I want to do internships in NY and LA. Maybe not live in Carp or VC anymore. Move out of a rent fee place? Didn't sound like a sane idea to me but good very good, intriguing. Well, I did my internships and some how ended up back in Ventura, confused. LA was okay, didn't really like it, NY was amazing, loved it, but I missed my family and friends, I was too far away. Many of my friends wanted me to stay in the area and threatened me in good ways for me to stay, I wanted me to stay. So I prayed and felt that I was suppose to stay but...Lord what am I going to do? I had amazing offers to work in LA, NY and Vegas. I went to school for a reason and SB is not the easiest place to work, survive and live. Why? After months of rejection, trials and having the worst job for 5 days, He delivered me, because I listened. Some may not know but I filled out my rental application and credit check without completing all info. Plus, I think I just quit my job 2 days before. NO JOB!!! Hello! Many people would say that is insane! I thought it was crazy! And there is no way I will get accepted! Unless the Lord opens up the door. I was so comforted because I prayed and leaned on God to guide me. I was going to need to move out of my place before March anyways, why not put my foot in the Jordan! Be crazy have faith, SUBMIT!!! Thank God I did! Now I am moving out and starting a great new job, which the Lord has provided. The coolest part about my job is the specific things I prayed for were revealed while I was applying for the job and given to me. Also more that expected, praise God! Ohhh...breathe. I at least know I am where to Lord wants me, but I can still mess it up. Let's not and say we didn't.
For my roomies come the 22nd of Dec. I pray the Lord blesses us with strong unified hearts. Comforts us in the trials we are going to face in our lives and delivers us from a lack of communication with each other. Bind our hearts with your love Jesus, Holy Spirt fill us up with your knowledge and joy and God bless us, like I know you have and will.
Lisa and Katie
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