Ah, today was a good day! I didn't want to get out of bed at all! But, my dad ended up talking to me and I have no clue what happened, but I was up and at the gym with my dad in no time. We also went to drop his shirts off at the dry cleaner, get my car washed and went to go get my car smog, which it didn't need so I didn't get it! Silly girl, my registration isn't due until May. Yes! That is $300 I can save. My dad also wanted to take me to Starbucks, but ever since I had a Nasty(with a capital N) Carmel Apple Cider, Starbucks just doesn't have the spark it use to. I kind of want to gag whenever I think of it. Sad, I know but something good came out of not going to Starbucks. You know when you look at someone and you both are thinking the same exact thing! Ahh it is great! Einstien Bagels. Ahh, again! We ended up taking a trip which was cool because it was like we both were going down memory lane. Explaining, when I first got my permit for driving. My dad would let me drive, every Saturday morning to Einsteins. We would get a dozen bagels, ahh. I would move back to Vegas for family, Carey's Pub and Einstein Bagels. But! My dad said just wait, in New York they are going to be so much better! Well if thats the truth than maybe I will be living in New York! I love food! I most likely am going to gain weight in New York. Oh, boyeee that could be a good thing!
We finally made it home and I ate 2 bagels! Hello to many carbs! I wanted to take a nap and be a vegetable all day long. But I didn't, I helped my mom make orderves for her small group tonight. I couldn't stop eating them! Actually, I can't stop eating my whole break. I think I have gained a couple of pounds. Besides that we made lotion and stuff too. So,it was a pretty productive day.
As my parents went to their homegroup, I went out to dinner with my friend Stac-face. We went to Sushi! I was down to eat everything. I order this Japaneses Lasagna roll and let me tell you that was a mistake. Yuck! There were things I tasted in the roll that I didn't recognize. Not yummy.
I was suppose to meet up with some other friends but, yeah...I am too much of a grandma. Especially after a hard, hectic session and all the mental games that are playing in my head.
Speaking of that my dad went to Costco and bought me some SAME-e Mood Plus! The greatest stuff. I am very afraid, when I move to LA and NY that my depression and anxiety will come back, I can kind of already feel myself getting anxious, it is running through my vain's. I don't like taking drugs or anything that will sedate me. I use to do that until I started relying on the Lord. Then everything went away and really hasn't been back. I trust in the Lord and SAM-e that all will be well. SAM-e also helps with joints and liver, plus it is natural! Yeah! I took some today and I could feel it. It pepped me up and made me more awake. Normally when I have my mood swings, depression, yadda, yadda, yadda, I tend to get tired and unmotivated. And only my mom is allowed to talk to me or see me. She knows everything. She is my rock here on earth. With out her, I don't know where I would be. My mom is the one who talked me down of most of all my anxiety attacks until I trusted the Lord with them. I think it is amazing when I surrender my trouble to God, He takes care of them better than anyone else could.
I remember a friend was telling our homegroup about a disorder he had and one day he woke up and didn't have it anymore after he spoke to God about it! There is much more to the story but I think it is all a miracle, I believe and feel it everyday!
One prayer answered is, I needed a truck to move my bed to LA! Just one of the many things I have to pull out of my butt in the next week as I move. Well, I got a call from John Mickel, a friend who moved to LA already, and he has a truck and he is going to help me move my wonderful bed (many people say, not to get me started on talking about my wonderful, loving, soft, cuddly, embracing, best friend of a bed I have. Hmm, I wonder why?)
I am stoked that John Mickel will be in LA. A friend, something I am going to miss from SB, a lot! And you know who you folks are. I sure do.
I can't believe I am already driving back to VC tomorrow! I just got here. :-( Well life goes on and on and on, right?
Friday, December 29, 2006
Thursday, December 28, 2006
Baby, it is cold in Vegas!
Wow! The past couple of days have been good! The shopping went wonderfully with my family. My Mom, Dad and Sissy went. We decide, unexpectedly to play dress up with my Mom. We all ended up buying her new outfits; it was like a fashion show. She didn't have a choice in what kind of clothes she was to try on, she just needed to stay in the dressing room and we took care of the rest. I guess you could say it was pay back for all that back to school shopping she did with us over the years. After a couple of hours doing this we all were really hungry. So we stopped at Chevy's, one of my new favorite places to eat!
That night I got tricked into house sitting for my Aunt. I was asked when I got to town if I could do it, but I did not give a definite answer and told my Aunt to ask my cousin Nikki. I guess she assumed...I would already do it, because she called me and left a message on my voice mail that they got to Tahoe and yeah. Grrrr...They have three dogs and a mansion. I can't believe I was complaining about living in a luxurious home! But, I wanted to be with my family. Anyways it was goooooooooooood and my cuz is going to do it for the remainder of the time. I felt kind of bad because my cousin is home from being in the peace core. She teaches hygiene in Guatemala and I figured she would want to stay with her family. No! She was more than happy to do it! :-)
That morning I woke up and fed the dogs and for breakfast I had Lucky Charms, but I don't feel any luckier? (I know I am a dork!) I sat around for a few, then decided to get up and go see my sister at work and my mom was there getting treatment for her knee. It was so cool to see my sister work with her patients. She is all grown up! She is a Physical Therapist. Watching her made me think, "What am I doing with my life! Shouldn't I be in a career yet! What am I doing?" I think everyone goes though this thought process. I asked my sister about it and she said, “It was normal. You just have to keep on moving forward.” Yeah, yeah, yeah...
Later that day I was planning on going to the mountains with some friends. We were thinking Red Rock or Mt. Charleston. They both were freezing. We decided to go to the one that was most cold. We actually thought we were going to be able to hike. Hahaha! We got up the mountain and it was cold! There was snow and ice and stuff I haven't seen in years.
We were determined, so we started to hike. COLD! We stopped at one spot to take some pictures and it was an icy spot that everyone would slip and fall at. Me, myself and I could not stop laughing at others pain! I am cruel! But I ended up slipping and falling at that same exact spot and Allison, my little Asian with the video camera got it on tape. Lol! Payback is a _____! We hiked some more and it started to snow! Then it started to snow some more, we decided we should leave and go get some hot cocoa at the lodge. It was so beautiful to sit there with my friends and sip cocoa, watch the snow fall and relax.
Me and Vanessa trying not to fall!
Allison and I, strike a pose!
Silly Girls!
Pretty Girls!
Hahaha! The struggle to get back to the car!
The Beautiful Lodge!
We made it down the mountain and I dropped my friends off at their destinations. Then I went go meet my sister to hangout. We went out to dinner, at Fizoli's. This place is cool, it is Italian fast food! I have never seen an Italian fast food place! The food was pretty decent. Next we headed off to Nordstrom’s Rack. Big, big mistake! Eating 3 different kinds of pasta and then going and trying on clothes is never fun. Not cool.
The night was over and I went home to watch a movie with my parents. I fell asleep on the couch until 2am, always a bad idea. And today, I am going to get my driver's license renewed, a smog check, visit with my Nana, have lunch with Omar and try to see Mike and Becca. Busy, busy day.
That night I got tricked into house sitting for my Aunt. I was asked when I got to town if I could do it, but I did not give a definite answer and told my Aunt to ask my cousin Nikki. I guess she assumed...I would already do it, because she called me and left a message on my voice mail that they got to Tahoe and yeah. Grrrr...They have three dogs and a mansion. I can't believe I was complaining about living in a luxurious home! But, I wanted to be with my family. Anyways it was goooooooooooood and my cuz is going to do it for the remainder of the time. I felt kind of bad because my cousin is home from being in the peace core. She teaches hygiene in Guatemala and I figured she would want to stay with her family. No! She was more than happy to do it! :-)
That morning I woke up and fed the dogs and for breakfast I had Lucky Charms, but I don't feel any luckier? (I know I am a dork!) I sat around for a few, then decided to get up and go see my sister at work and my mom was there getting treatment for her knee. It was so cool to see my sister work with her patients. She is all grown up! She is a Physical Therapist. Watching her made me think, "What am I doing with my life! Shouldn't I be in a career yet! What am I doing?" I think everyone goes though this thought process. I asked my sister about it and she said, “It was normal. You just have to keep on moving forward.” Yeah, yeah, yeah...
Later that day I was planning on going to the mountains with some friends. We were thinking Red Rock or Mt. Charleston. They both were freezing. We decided to go to the one that was most cold. We actually thought we were going to be able to hike. Hahaha! We got up the mountain and it was cold! There was snow and ice and stuff I haven't seen in years.
We were determined, so we started to hike. COLD! We stopped at one spot to take some pictures and it was an icy spot that everyone would slip and fall at. Me, myself and I could not stop laughing at others pain! I am cruel! But I ended up slipping and falling at that same exact spot and Allison, my little Asian with the video camera got it on tape. Lol! Payback is a _____! We hiked some more and it started to snow! Then it started to snow some more, we decided we should leave and go get some hot cocoa at the lodge. It was so beautiful to sit there with my friends and sip cocoa, watch the snow fall and relax.
Me and Vanessa trying not to fall!
Allison and I, strike a pose!
Silly Girls!
Pretty Girls!
Hahaha! The struggle to get back to the car!
The Beautiful Lodge!
We made it down the mountain and I dropped my friends off at their destinations. Then I went go meet my sister to hangout. We went out to dinner, at Fizoli's. This place is cool, it is Italian fast food! I have never seen an Italian fast food place! The food was pretty decent. Next we headed off to Nordstrom’s Rack. Big, big mistake! Eating 3 different kinds of pasta and then going and trying on clothes is never fun. Not cool.
The night was over and I went home to watch a movie with my parents. I fell asleep on the couch until 2am, always a bad idea. And today, I am going to get my driver's license renewed, a smog check, visit with my Nana, have lunch with Omar and try to see Mike and Becca. Busy, busy day.
Tuesday, December 26, 2006
No more sinus infection!
Yeah! I woke up this morning and guess what!?! I didn't have a headache! Thank GOD! I have been having sinus problems since the 18th of December. I finally got some relief. I still have a cough and my nose is running, I guess I better go catch it! Hahaha, I know I am a dork! Hopefully, now I can eat more things with out them giving me a headache. I couldn't eat dairy, sugar or bread. The side effects of these were nasty! But I won't give you to much information. Heehee...
Now, I am off to spend more great family time with my sissy and parents. We are going shopping! Whether we will buy anything or not is the question.
"Alright missy let's go!" says Dad
Now, I am off to spend more great family time with my sissy and parents. We are going shopping! Whether we will buy anything or not is the question.
"Alright missy let's go!" says Dad
Sunday, December 24, 2006
Happy Christmas Eve!
Oh yeah! So it begins...
Of coarse I woke up looking like a glamor queen with sleep marks on my face! ;) I walked out and everyone was already up and moving.
I decided to join the pace and make everyone breakfast, yummy pancakes, eggs and bacon!
Yummy!
After this we all got ready and went to church. It was so nice to have everyone there. Mom, Dad, Rob, Brandon, Moose, Chris, Nikki, C.J., Little Matthew, Jeff, Amanda, Kim and me.
After church we ordered pizza and wings from my favorite place! Ahhhhh...yeah! Then we have a Christmas for my brothers, sister and their families. During this time me and my sister had to rush out to go to my Aunts house were my cousins and Nana were. Everyone decided to have their celebration in the middle of the day so it was rush rush rush for me and Amanda. And of coarse my Aunt tries to fix me up every time with some guy who is from a great family and has a very very good job! But this year I guess the guy still had a psycho girlfriend that the family doesn't like, so (that wouldn't stop my Aunt)...Plus I am doing so much right now, aaaaaaaaaaaaa...NO! Maybe one of these days it will work. Lol! Who knows? I am thankful she tries, it's sweet, at least she is thinking of me.
At the end of this day my sissy went home and me and my parents chilled. Many prayers were answered today! Thank you GOD!!!
Of coarse I woke up looking like a glamor queen with sleep marks on my face! ;) I walked out and everyone was already up and moving.
I decided to join the pace and make everyone breakfast, yummy pancakes, eggs and bacon!
Yummy!
After this we all got ready and went to church. It was so nice to have everyone there. Mom, Dad, Rob, Brandon, Moose, Chris, Nikki, C.J., Little Matthew, Jeff, Amanda, Kim and me.
After church we ordered pizza and wings from my favorite place! Ahhhhh...yeah! Then we have a Christmas for my brothers, sister and their families. During this time me and my sister had to rush out to go to my Aunts house were my cousins and Nana were. Everyone decided to have their celebration in the middle of the day so it was rush rush rush for me and Amanda. And of coarse my Aunt tries to fix me up every time with some guy who is from a great family and has a very very good job! But this year I guess the guy still had a psycho girlfriend that the family doesn't like, so (that wouldn't stop my Aunt)...Plus I am doing so much right now, aaaaaaaaaaaaa...NO! Maybe one of these days it will work. Lol! Who knows? I am thankful she tries, it's sweet, at least she is thinking of me.
At the end of this day my sissy went home and me and my parents chilled. Many prayers were answered today! Thank you GOD!!!
Saturday, December 23, 2006
Brandon!!!
I have been up since 3:30am! Long...............Day! I had a wonderful morning and made it to Vegas safely. Seeing my family is great! When I got home I hung out with the parents and then I went to my Nana's house and spent some time with her. While I was there she ended up giving me a x-mas hair tie. I could tell my Nana really thought these hair things were the cat's meow. As for me...ummm...I'll rock it, so I put my hair up in this red, green puffy ball rubber band decorative hair tie to please my Nana. I told her I would wear it tomorrow when we go over to my Aunt's house for a little x-mas party.
As I left my Nana's house I decided to go to the mall and get some last minute gifts. Forgetting I had the hair tie in my hair. I walked all around the mall, all by myself with my special hair tie. All wasn't lost, but I felt like a retard. Hahaha! But I thought to myself, self...you saw a grown man wearing a white fluffy fur coat at the mall, I think you can sport your Christmas hair tie!
Then dun dun dun... I get home. Brandon was coming over to spend the night! It has been a while since I saw him. It has been almost a year, the time I saw him was last year at his baseball game! Bad Aunt Cassie! Anyways, he came over and it was instant let's play. He told me I was old and he asked me how much I weighted! Thanks Brandon! Well all the hugs and hide and go seek games make up for all the oops! Just kidding I really don't care! I have nothing to hide...
No more wrapping presents! I think my Mom is making me wrap my own presents!
oooooooooooo..............seriously 7 more presents to wrap!
Post post post...
Brandon says, "Merry Christmas!"
Sheah! I have to go beat up a little kid! He is trying to run me over with exercise equipment! Lol!
Tired gotta go!
exit - Brandon screaming! Heehee!
Notice my new favorite hair thing, rockin the 80s ponytail and my GREAT Nephew!
As I left my Nana's house I decided to go to the mall and get some last minute gifts. Forgetting I had the hair tie in my hair. I walked all around the mall, all by myself with my special hair tie. All wasn't lost, but I felt like a retard. Hahaha! But I thought to myself, self...you saw a grown man wearing a white fluffy fur coat at the mall, I think you can sport your Christmas hair tie!
Then dun dun dun... I get home. Brandon was coming over to spend the night! It has been a while since I saw him. It has been almost a year, the time I saw him was last year at his baseball game! Bad Aunt Cassie! Anyways, he came over and it was instant let's play. He told me I was old and he asked me how much I weighted! Thanks Brandon! Well all the hugs and hide and go seek games make up for all the oops! Just kidding I really don't care! I have nothing to hide...
No more wrapping presents! I think my Mom is making me wrap my own presents!
oooooooooooo..............seriously 7 more presents to wrap!
Post post post...
Brandon says, "Merry Christmas!"
Sheah! I have to go beat up a little kid! He is trying to run me over with exercise equipment! Lol!
Tired gotta go!
exit - Brandon screaming! Heehee!
Notice my new favorite hair thing, rockin the 80s ponytail and my GREAT Nephew!
Monday, December 18, 2006
My life is never dull...
This weekend was crazy! By the time Sunday night came around I am exhausted. I got off of work last night and made it home around 1:30am-ish. All I wanted to do is crawl in bed and sleep sleep sleep! When I pulled up in front of my house, I had so many bags to carry in my house. I had 2 camera bags. an overnight bag, my laptop, hardrive and purse. I wasn't really feeling like taking 2 trips so I said to myself, self just leave some stuff in your trunk. That always is never a good idea. I ended up getting this feeling of uncomfortable loss and fear. So I grabbed all my stuff, in one trip, may I add, and started to pray for protection as I walked to my door. I walked in my door and upstairs to my room, got ready for bed, tossed my clothes somewhere and then crashed! 4:30am comes around and I am awoken by glass breaking. I deliriously woke up. I was really confused on what was happening because I was such in a deep sleep. As I kind of came to, I felt like satin was breathing down my neck. What was going on? I kept on hearing glass crack and shatter. There were no voices, screams, laughs, nothing! The noise was so close I thought someone was trying to get in my house through the sliding glass back door. I got up and rushed for my phone to call 911 if needed. But where was my phone? It was somewhere in my room, I couldn't find it. I looked out of my blinds and couldn't see anything. Now mind you I wear contacts and having a disability on top of still being asleep. I saw nothing! At this point I was a little/lot freaked out. So what do you do when you are in fear? Well, I pray. I started to pray over and over again for strength and protection. Finally, I got knocked out and went back to sleep. When I woke up, I was a little confused. I went outside and didn't see any glass or anything on the ground but I did see a truck with no windows. Yikes! I learned that someone broke into his truck that morning and pretty much took everything in the front of his truck. What scared me the most is it was right next to my window. I am on the second floor out my Aunts house but...
What I learned from this situation is sometimes we get feelings when we need to pray for things. God has been speaking to me through the Bible, conversations and premonitions. I think it is cool because for so long I have prayed for the ability to listen and I get it, now! He has blessed me in more ways than I can count. He is my heart right now. I survive because of Him! Sometimes I don't have much emotion but with God he doesn't let me slide. I am getting teary eyed right now just thinking about how much he loves me. Amazing!
What I learned from this situation is sometimes we get feelings when we need to pray for things. God has been speaking to me through the Bible, conversations and premonitions. I think it is cool because for so long I have prayed for the ability to listen and I get it, now! He has blessed me in more ways than I can count. He is my heart right now. I survive because of Him! Sometimes I don't have much emotion but with God he doesn't let me slide. I am getting teary eyed right now just thinking about how much he loves me. Amazing!
Sunday, December 17, 2006
Psalm 60
There are so many great things happening in life that spur off of many unfortunate incidents. Life is moving faster than I can blog. Ahhhhhhh! This is going to be a long one!
Anyways... Praise report!!!
My brother Robert is an amazing man; he has just been having some troubles in life lately. His wife, my sister-in-law Dina, is an amazing woman with the most merciful, strong willed heart that I could ever imagine. She has stood by my brother through all his interesting ventures through their marriage.
On December 5th, my mother called me hysterical and said she was on her way to the hospital. My mind went crazy thinking it was her, my sister, father, who....
To anyone who is in an accident or running to the hospital, please don't ever start a conversation like that. My heart felt like it was falling on the first drop of a sky high rollercoaster.
The problem was my brother. He was in a car accident. At this time there weren't many details except Robert had to be cut out of the car. I started to cry… but not, then I was confused because, wait...what, I didn’t want to get too worked up before I knew all the details, cause, yeah…but how guilty does one's heart feel when you haven't had a forgiving heart toward someone who needs it? Especially family! (Personal problem)
My mom finally got to the hospital and found Dina. My dad was in Texas on a business trip trying to get home and he was a wreck. These happenings reminded me of a sermon that Britt Merrik did. He spoke on fathers. When Britt was crushed by a car the only person he wanted physical was his daddy. Now you would have to listen to the sermon to find out the hour long message that God is our father and that is who we should call to, very good sermon by the way. Plus when you want your daddy you want your daddy.
Through the night as Dina and my mother found out more about Robert's condition it wasn't as bad as it could have been. He was really fortunate because nothing else was wrong with him except for his leg, and only by the grace of God he did not loose his leg in the accident. Robert needed to have 2 surgeries to reconstruct the bones in his leg, which brings us to a big problem. Morphine, drugs, when you are going through a program to get off of drugs, going into the hospital and getting pain killers probably isn't the greatest thing to do. At first Robert didn't want drugs but the doctors told him he would be in a lot pain and wouldn't heal as fast. As for me, I would say, "Drugs please!"
Robert pulled through the surgery with flying colors. They put his leg bone back together and I believe he has to have those pin things sticking in it. Ouch! I couldn't really handle all the gory details, so I got nothing!
After my brother got out of the hospital and was able to go home, he was not able to work because he really can't walk, duh! So where do you turn when you are in a time of need? Well in my immediate family our hearts and eyes, you turn to the church.
My father took my brother to our church in Vegas and was able to get his family set up with a program they have for families in need. I can't remember what exactly it is called, but I think the program is amazing because they give you food, support and many other things. One of the suggestions, you could say for accepting food/support is attending church every week. Yeah! When I talked to my mom on Saturday, Robert, Dina and my 3 nephews were attending church! I felt so joyous that God had worked in this way to bring them closer to him. It showed me things that are in His plan may not make sense to our little minds but it all works for good. I know my hard times of heart ache have made me calmer, sensible, wiser, understanding, est.
With this situation, I can't figure things out really and I don't want to. Let go and let God. Trust him.
As I talked to my mom more, we started to talk about Brandon. Each of my nephews bring their own special flair to my life, I love it!
When Brandon was younger he would always give me bear hugs, we would play video games, hang out and the times he stayed over at our house he wouldn't sleep anywhere but with me. Now, when he got older that had to change, but as the sleepovers lasted with him hogging the bed and Aunt Cassie not getting any sleep because she would be smacked in the face every hour, with a knee in the back and a long unusual snoring bit. You could say this is one of the greatest memories I have.
Brandon is 12 now and has always been in my prayers because I can relate about a biological father thing (different, long, story). He is so smart, amazing and puts so much warm fuzziness in my heart, that he is one of the reason's I would want to have boy's if God chooses to give me a family of my own some day. Plus, I kind of like to ruff house, play sports, go to air show and build things when I have time and money! But on the other hand I am a total girlie girl. Huh…anyways, back to Brandon. This kid is on fire for the Lord. It blows my mind how God is working in his life.
When my father went to Promise Keepers with my other brother Jeff, Brandon went! At the age of 11!!! He is having conversations with my father, saying, "Grandpa, I am worried I won't see my Mom in heaven." "Kids at school, kind of make fun of me when I tell them I am a Christian." Of coarse my Dad says, "You want to be around good friends whom except you and who are sharing your Christian faith." 12 years old! I cry with joy, thinking God is so wondrous and merciful to plant this brilliant light in this family of mine, with such passion for loving and understanding so much more than most human’s do, while not having a strong Christian household to live in! Now, I already see an amazing truth coming out into the wood works. My brother, Robert is questioning, "Why is Brandon hanging out with MY Dad so much and loving this God thing?" Ding, ding, ding, curiosity kills the cat! And that is what my Brother and his family need, they need to die to theirs selves and live for the Lord. I see Brandon as a leader, who can lead his 2 young brothers, which look up to him, his father and step mother into the light!
Yesssssssssssssssssss!
I can't wait to get home and give my nephew a bear hug and just love on him, praise and encourage him for his faith in the Lord! I am so excited to go home and love on all my family!
There is so much more that I could type! But I am a little tired of typing and life is calling me to attend to it’s duties of the final week at Brooks.
God is glorious! I ask, please keep my family in your prayers!
Psalm 60
1 You have rejected us, God, and burst upon us;
you have been angry—now restore us!
2 You have shaken the land and torn it open;
mend its fractures, for it is quaking.
3 You have shown your people desperate times;
you have given us wine that makes us stagger.
4 But for those who fear you, you have raised a banner
to be unfurled against the bow.
5 Save us and help us with your right hand,
that those you love may be delivered.
6 God has spoken from his sanctuary:
"In triumph I will parcel out Shechem
and measure off the Valley of Sukkoth.
7 Gilead is mine, and Manasseh is mine;
Ephraim is my helmet,
Judah is my scepter.
8 Moab is my washbasin,
on Edom I toss my sandal;
over Philistia I shout in triumph."
9 Who will bring me to the fortified city?
Who will lead me to Edom?
10 Is it not you, God, you who have now rejected us
and no longer go out with our armies?
11 Give us aid against the enemy,
for human help is worthless.
12 With God we will gain the victory,
and he will trample down our enemies.
Anyways... Praise report!!!
My brother Robert is an amazing man; he has just been having some troubles in life lately. His wife, my sister-in-law Dina, is an amazing woman with the most merciful, strong willed heart that I could ever imagine. She has stood by my brother through all his interesting ventures through their marriage.
On December 5th, my mother called me hysterical and said she was on her way to the hospital. My mind went crazy thinking it was her, my sister, father, who....
To anyone who is in an accident or running to the hospital, please don't ever start a conversation like that. My heart felt like it was falling on the first drop of a sky high rollercoaster.
The problem was my brother. He was in a car accident. At this time there weren't many details except Robert had to be cut out of the car. I started to cry… but not, then I was confused because, wait...what, I didn’t want to get too worked up before I knew all the details, cause, yeah…but how guilty does one's heart feel when you haven't had a forgiving heart toward someone who needs it? Especially family! (Personal problem)
My mom finally got to the hospital and found Dina. My dad was in Texas on a business trip trying to get home and he was a wreck. These happenings reminded me of a sermon that Britt Merrik did. He spoke on fathers. When Britt was crushed by a car the only person he wanted physical was his daddy. Now you would have to listen to the sermon to find out the hour long message that God is our father and that is who we should call to, very good sermon by the way. Plus when you want your daddy you want your daddy.
Through the night as Dina and my mother found out more about Robert's condition it wasn't as bad as it could have been. He was really fortunate because nothing else was wrong with him except for his leg, and only by the grace of God he did not loose his leg in the accident. Robert needed to have 2 surgeries to reconstruct the bones in his leg, which brings us to a big problem. Morphine, drugs, when you are going through a program to get off of drugs, going into the hospital and getting pain killers probably isn't the greatest thing to do. At first Robert didn't want drugs but the doctors told him he would be in a lot pain and wouldn't heal as fast. As for me, I would say, "Drugs please!"
Robert pulled through the surgery with flying colors. They put his leg bone back together and I believe he has to have those pin things sticking in it. Ouch! I couldn't really handle all the gory details, so I got nothing!
After my brother got out of the hospital and was able to go home, he was not able to work because he really can't walk, duh! So where do you turn when you are in a time of need? Well in my immediate family our hearts and eyes, you turn to the church.
My father took my brother to our church in Vegas and was able to get his family set up with a program they have for families in need. I can't remember what exactly it is called, but I think the program is amazing because they give you food, support and many other things. One of the suggestions, you could say for accepting food/support is attending church every week. Yeah! When I talked to my mom on Saturday, Robert, Dina and my 3 nephews were attending church! I felt so joyous that God had worked in this way to bring them closer to him. It showed me things that are in His plan may not make sense to our little minds but it all works for good. I know my hard times of heart ache have made me calmer, sensible, wiser, understanding, est.
With this situation, I can't figure things out really and I don't want to. Let go and let God. Trust him.
As I talked to my mom more, we started to talk about Brandon. Each of my nephews bring their own special flair to my life, I love it!
When Brandon was younger he would always give me bear hugs, we would play video games, hang out and the times he stayed over at our house he wouldn't sleep anywhere but with me. Now, when he got older that had to change, but as the sleepovers lasted with him hogging the bed and Aunt Cassie not getting any sleep because she would be smacked in the face every hour, with a knee in the back and a long unusual snoring bit. You could say this is one of the greatest memories I have.
Brandon is 12 now and has always been in my prayers because I can relate about a biological father thing (different, long, story). He is so smart, amazing and puts so much warm fuzziness in my heart, that he is one of the reason's I would want to have boy's if God chooses to give me a family of my own some day. Plus, I kind of like to ruff house, play sports, go to air show and build things when I have time and money! But on the other hand I am a total girlie girl. Huh…anyways, back to Brandon. This kid is on fire for the Lord. It blows my mind how God is working in his life.
When my father went to Promise Keepers with my other brother Jeff, Brandon went! At the age of 11!!! He is having conversations with my father, saying, "Grandpa, I am worried I won't see my Mom in heaven." "Kids at school, kind of make fun of me when I tell them I am a Christian." Of coarse my Dad says, "You want to be around good friends whom except you and who are sharing your Christian faith." 12 years old! I cry with joy, thinking God is so wondrous and merciful to plant this brilliant light in this family of mine, with such passion for loving and understanding so much more than most human’s do, while not having a strong Christian household to live in! Now, I already see an amazing truth coming out into the wood works. My brother, Robert is questioning, "Why is Brandon hanging out with MY Dad so much and loving this God thing?" Ding, ding, ding, curiosity kills the cat! And that is what my Brother and his family need, they need to die to theirs selves and live for the Lord. I see Brandon as a leader, who can lead his 2 young brothers, which look up to him, his father and step mother into the light!
Yesssssssssssssssssss!
I can't wait to get home and give my nephew a bear hug and just love on him, praise and encourage him for his faith in the Lord! I am so excited to go home and love on all my family!
There is so much more that I could type! But I am a little tired of typing and life is calling me to attend to it’s duties of the final week at Brooks.
God is glorious! I ask, please keep my family in your prayers!
Psalm 60
1 You have rejected us, God, and burst upon us;
you have been angry—now restore us!
2 You have shaken the land and torn it open;
mend its fractures, for it is quaking.
3 You have shown your people desperate times;
you have given us wine that makes us stagger.
4 But for those who fear you, you have raised a banner
to be unfurled against the bow.
5 Save us and help us with your right hand,
that those you love may be delivered.
6 God has spoken from his sanctuary:
"In triumph I will parcel out Shechem
and measure off the Valley of Sukkoth.
7 Gilead is mine, and Manasseh is mine;
Ephraim is my helmet,
Judah is my scepter.
8 Moab is my washbasin,
on Edom I toss my sandal;
over Philistia I shout in triumph."
9 Who will bring me to the fortified city?
Who will lead me to Edom?
10 Is it not you, God, you who have now rejected us
and no longer go out with our armies?
11 Give us aid against the enemy,
for human help is worthless.
12 With God we will gain the victory,
and he will trample down our enemies.
Monday, December 11, 2006
Yeah Dentist Man!!!
Okay, I have to coolest dentist. He has been in the same location for 25 years! That is older than me! Anyways, this morning I had an appointment to go get my teeth cleaned. I was a little nervous because it has been a year and a half since I have been to the dentist, and the fact that I had my 4 impacted wisdom teeth surgically removed at one time while having one of the worst experiences of my life! Thank God I have good teeth! Cause I might not be able to handle anything else.
While I was in the chair at Dr. Bowers offices and he was scrapping away at my teeth and hitting my gums, I thought to myself this kind of feels good! I remembered back to when I had braces, I thought it always felt good to get them tightened. Why? Sick I know! Lol! I think I love the feeling of cleaning out all of the bad things and the thought of working towards a goal and knowing how to get there. I know, Sick again! Who learns this stuff from going to the dentist? Some people would say only Cassie.
Other weird things I like are people putting eye liner in my inner eye thingy, of course getting my gums played with, cleaning my ears paralyzes me, putting glue on my palm and pealing it off, playing with fart machines (great fun!), eating dill pickles, chocolate ice cream and drinking Pepsi at the same time (where that came from I have not clue!). I know there are many other quirky things about me but I can't think of them right now.
Have a blessed day! :-)
While I was in the chair at Dr. Bowers offices and he was scrapping away at my teeth and hitting my gums, I thought to myself this kind of feels good! I remembered back to when I had braces, I thought it always felt good to get them tightened. Why? Sick I know! Lol! I think I love the feeling of cleaning out all of the bad things and the thought of working towards a goal and knowing how to get there. I know, Sick again! Who learns this stuff from going to the dentist? Some people would say only Cassie.
Other weird things I like are people putting eye liner in my inner eye thingy, of course getting my gums played with, cleaning my ears paralyzes me, putting glue on my palm and pealing it off, playing with fart machines (great fun!), eating dill pickles, chocolate ice cream and drinking Pepsi at the same time (where that came from I have not clue!). I know there are many other quirky things about me but I can't think of them right now.
Have a blessed day! :-)
Saturday, December 9, 2006
A wise woman said, "You need to write your blog for you."
Over analyzing things in my head is one of my most difficult projects I have to overcome. Lately, I have been extremely talented on just letting situations roll off my shoulders but satin is trying to beat me with the sick of anxiety, frustration, distrust and much much more.
I am leaving after this session at Brooks, to fulfill plans that God has for my life. One of the coolest parts of this is God spoke to me through scripture. I went to LA for a day to visit John Russo's studio, this is where I will be interning. After the shoots, on my way home, I was having thoughts (over-analyzing) if this was right for me? My heart was praying so hard for an answer of some sort because I want what God wants for my life. I won't move without his say so.
That night once I got home, I finished up some homework and went to bed. Right before I went to bed I did my Bible study for the day. God took me to Numbers 13 and 14. As I meditated on these chapters I ended up falling asleep, I was so tired from my long day. The next morning I woke up thinking about what I had read. The chapters were still fresh in my mind.
It was amazing to hear the voice of God speak to me through his Word. Especially, when these events happened a long long time ago. Here is how the thought process went:
BIBLE: Moses sent men to go explore Canaan.
ME: Cassie is sent to explore John Russo's studios.
BIBLE: They gave Moses this account: "We went into the land to which you sent us, and it does flow with milk and honey!
ME: The opportunities I would have at this internship would be amazing!
BIBLE: But the men who had gone up with him said, "We can't attack those people; they are stronger than we are."
ME: I don't fit in with these people. There is more sin around me than I normally subject myself to. It is very different. Is this of God? (Don't question the Man!)
BIBLE: That night all the people of the community raised their voices and wept aloud. All the Israelites grumbled against Moses and Aaron, and the whole assembly said to them, "If only we had died in Egypt! Or in this desert! Why is the LORD bringing us to this land only to let us fall by the sword?
ME: Why am I leaving a place where I am comfortable and where I grew most as a Christian? I am in my little bubble of reality. If I leave I will be subjected to more sinful endeavors, than I am in VC, Carp and SB.
BIBLE: And they said to each other, "We should choose a leader and go back to Egypt."
ME: Follow the anxious flesh.
BIBLE: Then Moses and Aaron fell facedown in front of the whole Israelite assembly gathered there. Joshua son of Nun and Caleb son of Jephunneh, who were among those who had explored the land, tore their clothes and said to the entire Israelite assembly, "The land we passed through and explored is exceedingly good. If the LORD is pleased with us, he will lead us into that land, a land flowing with milk and honey, and will give it to us. Only do not rebel against the LORD. And do not be afraid of the people of the land, because we will swallow them up. Their protection is gone, but the LORD is with us. Do not be afraid of them."
ME: Yessssssssssssss!!! God is AMAZING!!! I got goose bumps!
This happening showed me that I need to have more faith in faith and you can learn from suffering.
The other things in my life feel like they are on a roller coaster ride that isn't going to end for a while, and has so many surprising climbs and falls. It is hard to find myself not having something to do everyday single day.
Sunday - kids craft at church, church service and then work til 12am
Monday - I catching up on all my school work
Tuesday - morning prayer, classes all day then Home group
Wednesday - with I don't know what I do in the mornings...huh? Later prayer for the youth and then off my wonderful Women's Bible study
Thursday - class again :(
Friday - I keep myself busy with running around
Saturday - kids xmas play and work until 12am.
This isn't even half of what I pack my days with! Commuting, family, friends, networking, L.A. internship, N.Y. internships, a big one is laundry, I am never home to do it...You could say I am extremely tired. Cause I AM!!!
Besides my busy schedule putting a strain on my physical health, emotionally people and situations are draining me. I love to show up everywhere with a smile on my face and a great attitude. But...yeah... The past week has been..., what am I saying? The past year, pretty much since August 2005 I have grown. I have loved and still love. I lost with no intention of ever finding it again. Treating people how you want to be treated is very important to me. Say what you mean and mean what you say, that is a big one! But always be careful of what you say. Don't say something just for yourself; take the other persons feelings into account. I am beating around the bush, with something that is on my mind. I had something happen today that made me...yeah I'm just not going to go there...maybe down the road when things get better/different I will right about it. I can't put my emotions into words right now.
My intention is never to hurt anyone.
I am leaving after this session at Brooks, to fulfill plans that God has for my life. One of the coolest parts of this is God spoke to me through scripture. I went to LA for a day to visit John Russo's studio, this is where I will be interning. After the shoots, on my way home, I was having thoughts (over-analyzing) if this was right for me? My heart was praying so hard for an answer of some sort because I want what God wants for my life. I won't move without his say so.
That night once I got home, I finished up some homework and went to bed. Right before I went to bed I did my Bible study for the day. God took me to Numbers 13 and 14. As I meditated on these chapters I ended up falling asleep, I was so tired from my long day. The next morning I woke up thinking about what I had read. The chapters were still fresh in my mind.
It was amazing to hear the voice of God speak to me through his Word. Especially, when these events happened a long long time ago. Here is how the thought process went:
BIBLE: Moses sent men to go explore Canaan.
ME: Cassie is sent to explore John Russo's studios.
BIBLE: They gave Moses this account: "We went into the land to which you sent us, and it does flow with milk and honey!
ME: The opportunities I would have at this internship would be amazing!
BIBLE: But the men who had gone up with him said, "We can't attack those people; they are stronger than we are."
ME: I don't fit in with these people. There is more sin around me than I normally subject myself to. It is very different. Is this of God? (Don't question the Man!)
BIBLE: That night all the people of the community raised their voices and wept aloud. All the Israelites grumbled against Moses and Aaron, and the whole assembly said to them, "If only we had died in Egypt! Or in this desert! Why is the LORD bringing us to this land only to let us fall by the sword?
ME: Why am I leaving a place where I am comfortable and where I grew most as a Christian? I am in my little bubble of reality. If I leave I will be subjected to more sinful endeavors, than I am in VC, Carp and SB.
BIBLE: And they said to each other, "We should choose a leader and go back to Egypt."
ME: Follow the anxious flesh.
BIBLE: Then Moses and Aaron fell facedown in front of the whole Israelite assembly gathered there. Joshua son of Nun and Caleb son of Jephunneh, who were among those who had explored the land, tore their clothes and said to the entire Israelite assembly, "The land we passed through and explored is exceedingly good. If the LORD is pleased with us, he will lead us into that land, a land flowing with milk and honey, and will give it to us. Only do not rebel against the LORD. And do not be afraid of the people of the land, because we will swallow them up. Their protection is gone, but the LORD is with us. Do not be afraid of them."
ME: Yessssssssssssss!!! God is AMAZING!!! I got goose bumps!
This happening showed me that I need to have more faith in faith and you can learn from suffering.
The other things in my life feel like they are on a roller coaster ride that isn't going to end for a while, and has so many surprising climbs and falls. It is hard to find myself not having something to do everyday single day.
Sunday - kids craft at church, church service and then work til 12am
Monday - I catching up on all my school work
Tuesday - morning prayer, classes all day then Home group
Wednesday - with I don't know what I do in the mornings...huh? Later prayer for the youth and then off my wonderful Women's Bible study
Thursday - class again :(
Friday - I keep myself busy with running around
Saturday - kids xmas play and work until 12am.
This isn't even half of what I pack my days with! Commuting, family, friends, networking, L.A. internship, N.Y. internships, a big one is laundry, I am never home to do it...You could say I am extremely tired. Cause I AM!!!
Besides my busy schedule putting a strain on my physical health, emotionally people and situations are draining me. I love to show up everywhere with a smile on my face and a great attitude. But...yeah... The past week has been..., what am I saying? The past year, pretty much since August 2005 I have grown. I have loved and still love. I lost with no intention of ever finding it again. Treating people how you want to be treated is very important to me. Say what you mean and mean what you say, that is a big one! But always be careful of what you say. Don't say something just for yourself; take the other persons feelings into account. I am beating around the bush, with something that is on my mind. I had something happen today that made me...yeah I'm just not going to go there...maybe down the road when things get better/different I will right about it. I can't put my emotions into words right now.
My intention is never to hurt anyone.
Thursday, December 7, 2006
Save as PDF
How many people know how to save a Word document as a PDF? If you don't I am going to tell you.
File-Print-Save as PDF.
How are they going to put a Save As in Print! Crazy software developers!
I know this is true for MAC, PC folks you are on your own.
I am pretty sure I have more important things going on in life like my super-hero powers. For example my mind goes faster than my mouth. This is in the category of telekinesis speed thinking .
Example:
My Mind say's: Time for Mani's and Pedi's!
Mouth say's: Meddddddi's.........................................iessssssss......Wait...W...H...A...T It happened again!
Command Z - If you don't understand that we can't be friends for a day! Jk ;-)
File-Print-Save as PDF.
How are they going to put a Save As in Print! Crazy software developers!
I know this is true for MAC, PC folks you are on your own.
I am pretty sure I have more important things going on in life like my super-hero powers. For example my mind goes faster than my mouth. This is in the category of telekinesis speed thinking .
Example:
My Mind say's: Time for Mani's and Pedi's!
Mouth say's: Meddddddi's.........................................iessssssss......Wait...W...H...A...T It happened again!
Command Z - If you don't understand that we can't be friends for a day! Jk ;-)
Friday, December 1, 2006
People who love grammar love themselfs!...GAIL!!! ;)
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
Living Life
Today was amazing! God is wonderful.
I started my day off with an amazing Bible study on discretion, took a nap, made some appointments then got ready for the day.
I went to coffee with a friend at Java Jones in SB. There some guy hit us on. A male named Steve decided to smoke a cigarette outside, right next to us. Once he lit up he started talking. It was weird because he just invited himself into our girl time. I found it kind of rude but...I went with the flow and talked to him for a while. That whole discretion thing happened in my mind, so convicting. At the end of this event, some how my hair straightener got blamed for Steve coming over and talking to us...? Kind of funny! I guess you had to be there.
After this I had an appointment for a grad review overview. My graduate advisor went over what is needed for this particular review. It went very well and gave me hope that I just might make it in the world. Speaking about the world, life is happening! I am going to be leaving SB soon. How do I feel about this? I quite don't know yet. I think my heart has been hardened in the past month toward real emotions for this time that is to come.
God has blessed me with these wonderful internships/opportunities. After I surrendered my control habit to create my own destiny, everything kind of fell into place. I pray often that if these internships aren't in God's will, take them away, but things keep on working out very well and there is no reason to say no yet.
My heart still cries to stay where I grew most as a Christian and was born again, but I am being told to go. I went to school for this reason. I have made amazing friends and learned so much about life/relationships. Even, the friend's I don't respond to very well these day's, I thank God for the lesson's we went through together.
There is so much going through my mind at the moment and so much more I want to share but...I am tired. Grrrrrr..... why do people have to sleep?
Living Life
Today was amazing! God is wonderful.
I started my day off with an amazing Bible study on discretion, took a nap, made some appointments then got ready for the day.
I went to coffee with a friend at Java Jones in SB. There some guy hit us on. A male named Steve decided to smoke a cigarette outside, right next to us. Once he lit up he started talking. It was weird because he just invited himself into our girl time. I found it kind of rude but...I went with the flow and talked to him for a while. That whole discretion thing happened in my mind, so convicting. At the end of this event, some how my hair straightener got blamed for Steve coming over and talking to us...? Kind of funny! I guess you had to be there.
After this I had an appointment for a grad review overview. My graduate advisor went over what is needed for this particular review. It went very well and gave me hope that I just might make it in the world. Speaking about the world, life is happening! I am going to be leaving SB soon. How do I feel about this? I quite don't know yet. I think my heart has been hardened in the past month toward real emotions for this time that is to come.
God has blessed me with these wonderful internships/opportunities. After I surrendered my control habit to create my own destiny, everything kind of fell into place. I pray often that if these internships aren't in God's will, take them away, but things keep on working out very well and there is no reason to say no yet.
My heart still cries to stay where I grew most as a Christian and was born again, but I am being told to go. I went to school for this reason. I have made amazing friends and learned so much about life/relationships. Even, the friend's I don't respond to very well these day's, I thank God for the lesson's we went through together.
There is so much going through my mind at the moment and so much more I want to share but...I am tired. Grrrrrr..... why do people have to sleep?
And people get on my for my spelling...KATIE!!!
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
My apple has hair.
Today was a difficult day.
I woke up today and was late for prayer because I thought it was at 6:30am instead of 6am. Where-my-mind?
I procrastinated on my school work for the week. I am not going to be one of those students who blames their procrastinating habit on holidays. I just didn't want to do anything. I am exhausted and tired but I keep on going like the energizer bunny (but-I-cuter!)
Gail Lewis: "You sho is cuter! What you talkin bout!"
On a happier note! It is time for Manis and Pedis. Whoot whoot! If don't know what I am talking about, you don't deserve to read this blog. Stop or your eyes will start bleeding.
Let's try this again, on a happier note!
I was able to make it through the day and meet and see some wonderful people. Also I thought of ideas to help others in their walk of life. I love it when the light bulb comes on!
Gail Lewis: Repetitive and redundant says the New York Times. ( I have little voice in my head!)
I wish I could share more of my day but it is time for Mani and Pedis. That takes priority!
See Ya
Piece Ooooowwwwt Brudda!
1 comments:
Gail said...
Your little voice is a spelling nazi. She bugs me. :D
But I have to tell you that it's not "your" it's "you're" as in you are. So what "you are" really trying to say is...
I know, I hate me, too.
Thanks for mani/pedi night!
November 28, 2006 10:48:00 PM PST
My apple has hair.
Today was a difficult day.
I woke up today and was late for prayer because I thought it was at 6:30am instead of 6am. Where-my-mind?
I procrastinated on my school work for the week. I am not going to be one of those students who blames their procrastinating habit on holidays. I just didn't want to do anything. I am exhausted and tired but I keep on going like the energizer bunny (but-I-cuter!)
Gail Lewis: "You sho is cuter! What you talkin bout!"
On a happier note! It is time for Manis and Pedis. Whoot whoot! If don't know what I am talking about, you don't deserve to read this blog. Stop or your eyes will start bleeding.
Let's try this again, on a happier note!
I was able to make it through the day and meet and see some wonderful people. Also I thought of ideas to help others in their walk of life. I love it when the light bulb comes on!
Gail Lewis: Repetitive and redundant says the New York Times. ( I have little voice in my head!)
I wish I could share more of my day but it is time for Mani and Pedis. That takes priority!
See Ya
Piece Ooooowwwwt Brudda!
1 comments:
Gail said...
Your little voice is a spelling nazi. She bugs me. :D
But I have to tell you that it's not "your" it's "you're" as in you are. So what "you are" really trying to say is...
I know, I hate me, too.
Thanks for mani/pedi night!
November 28, 2006 10:48:00 PM PST
Don't ask...
Monday, November 27, 2006
Wait... W...h...a...t...?
My first post...
I think... I think... I think... The thought is gone... Oops!
Lol!
Stop the insanity! This can get addicting!
1 Comment - Show Original Post
KATIE said...
you are too silly darlin!
November 28, 2006 12:15:00 PM PST
Wait... W...h...a...t...?
My first post...
I think... I think... I think... The thought is gone... Oops!
Lol!
Stop the insanity! This can get addicting!
1 Comment - Show Original Post
KATIE said...
you are too silly darlin!
November 28, 2006 12:15:00 PM PST
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