God has always got my back!

So in NY...Guy likes girl, girl likes guy but something doesn't fit. Say What?

In no particular order:

I want to be able to spend eternity with my significant other.
I want understanding.
I want respect.
I want to be able to spend 22 hours with a person and crave to spend another 22 hours with them. Of coarse after our 2 hour break. ;)
I want to be able to look in there eyes and know what they are thinking.
I want a feeling of true security and comfort.
I want laughter and silliness when needed.
I want faith in each other.
I want trinity, cause with relationships you need a 3rd presence to tell you are being stupid.
I want counseling, marriage conferences, growth.
I want to be held with the satisfaction of knowing this guy won't leave me because it isn't in his character.
I want him to teach me things like new funny faces or how to Photoshop an eyeball on my forehead using a new tool. (I will probably already know how to do it but it would be fun to let him try!)
I want to grow in everyway everyday.
I want encouragement.
I want to have my life, I want him to have his life and I want to have our lives.
I want to have someone to come home to, to make dinner for, but that doesn't mean they are off the hook making dinner for me some nights.
I want that extra level headed religious judgment in my life.
I want guidance.
I want someone to challenge me and I always what to have someone to challenge to have more confidence.
I want submission on both ends.
I want unconditional love.
I want to have lazy days, where we can just hang out.
I want to take trips and explore with them.
I want to take trips away from them, so I will miss them even more than I do when we aren't in the same room.
I want understanding about waiting for many things til there is a Godly commitment on my finger.
I want to never raise my voice at him and vise versa.

I want many more things than just is what is on this list.
Is it too demanding? No!

For once in a long time I am allowing myself to spur out and meet new men, open my heart a little to what could happen. I ended up going out with this amazing guy who I have never seen lose his temper. That is what attracted me to him in the first place. I really do not date much because my way of thinking is not like many. I do not kiss on the first date! Complicated! You get my drift and you can figure out how the rest goes.

Date/hanging out time, okay, so flesh let's see what this is all about? Only God knows. Since I have been in NY I am more aware of worldly things and people. I don’t know everything but I am willing to learn.

This guy and I are attracted to each other, you can see it, we hang out, I like his personality, he is a gentleman, he gets my sarcasm and splits it right back out at me. But, why doesn’t it work? Well hanging out with him for long periods of time necessarily wasn’t that great. He is not a Christian so we don't have the same values. One way I can explain it was, it didn’t feel right and it wasn’t what I wanted for the rest of my life. The Lord led me to this to situation, not to put myself in other situations that weren’t right but to show me a fork in the road I need to make a decision on. And I love and adore Him for that. He is my protector and I always have Him in my mind and heart telling me, “Cassie! NO!" I chose God's path on this one.

We are all human and we are all going to make mistakes, but luckily I have learned from many mistakes. Plus, I have had some great examples in my life on how a Godly relationship should be and this situation wasn’t one.

There is much more to the story than I am telling, but it would take forever to explain it in writing. To sum it all up, he falls short of what I know God wants for me. In fact that comforts my heart to wait for the right one. When women say they are lonely, they just want someone to be there...they are lacking the Lord and faith, your first true love. The feeling I get is that, I am a strong, single 25 year old female who could live without ever getting married. Why, because I trust God to lead my life in everyway. Ever since I have let go and let God, life has been full of gift boxes I get to open everyday that fill any and all fleshy voids.

So, when thinking about this new guy in my life? I am fighting the flesh for friend status.