Funky

I have always had the ability to remember my dreams. Most of the time the promenent ones are very weird. In one night I was able to have 3 nightmares! Crazy! I guess it is a good thing I know how to break down my fears in dreams and pray to God about them.

Last night, I had a dream that the rapture happened and I wasn't raptured. Ummm...excuse me! I started to question why I wasn't taken. Was I not knowledgeable enough about the bible, did I not have enough faith or did I even have faith?

The setting consisted of people, people I didn't know, have never seen just sitting around. We all were hanging out in an old dark abandoned hotel. Getting up and putting aside all my discomforts about not being taken, I had my bible with me so I open it up and start evangelizing to some random guy. He didn't really care or want to understand that there is still hope. To me his soul felt stale inside. This saddened me and added more flaming passion to my evangelism methods because many times in life I felt/feel stale and unsure of my salvation, but I always had/have faith.

As I continued speak to this man, I remember opening up my bible to the book of revelation and reading the part of the rapture that was consisting of that particular moment in time. As I was trying relate the current events to people about what is happening and to have faith, a dog comes up to me and starts to bite my ankle. Okay...where did that come from? Well, interestingly, Saturday there was a dog roaming around the streets in my condo complex. I called the little cutie to come to me and he came running over. Looking at his collar I phoned Troubles Crum's owner and returned him. This was the dog biting my ankle in my dream. Hmmm...

Also another intense thought in my dream was if my friends knew I wasn't in heaven with them or if they were thinking of me? :? Aaaaa...O.k.a.y.

That was as far as I got in my dream. I was woken up by my phone, it was one of my accountability friends that has never called me that early in the moring. Plus I never leave my phone on but I guess last night I forgot to turn it off. Good thing, I didn't want to be a non-raptured citizen for much longer.

Funny thought: If you ever want to get some information out of me that I most likely wouldn't tell anyone, you should ask me when I am half awake and half asleep. My mom tried it on me a while ago and it almost worked. Lol! Most likely I will catch myself before I say anything too serious. :) But it is funny to see people try.

Crazy, crazy dreams...

Thought of the day!

As I was sitting at Simone's coffee shop in VC, an elderly couple came in. They were so cute! As I started to pack up my things to leave, they were getting their ice blended mocha and sitting at a table in front of mine. I am not a stocker of any kind but I had to sit and watch them a little. The husband stared to read his paper as he gave the first sip of the mocha to his wife. They were sharing! How adorable! I guess that is what you HAVE to do when you are married. ;)

Anyways this situation ties in to my readings later on in the day. Ephesians 5, specifically verse 25. Husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her

Even though it was just the first drink and not anything major, it was a representation of his giving, love and patience for is wife. Do you know how many men I have come across that wouldn't give a hoot or think about putting a woman first?

Amazing and merciful!

The Lord is so great to comfort my heart everyday. Many times, more like every time I dig into His word, I am reminded to surrender all. Lately, I have been dealing with a fleshly situation that everyday I should waive the white flag with hast. The Lord, I believe has put a desire on my heart for 2 years plus! Ouch! Everyday I think about this ambition and pray for the Lord to take it away if it isn't from Him. Because sometimes this so-called joy gives me the most pain in life. I always think how can something from the Lord hurt this bad? Well it is all a learning process, and learning is written all over this one.

To suffer is to grow stronger, I can testify to that. As I was doing my study today through the book of Isaiah and Ephesians, I got a clear message that the Lord doesn't stop us from having certain desires, problems, troubles or wants. He could but...no. He wants us to turn to Him in our time of need. The only way to get through these ruff speed bumps in life is to have faith that the Lord will see you through those particular times. The Lord wants our whole hearts. I would rather deal with the life that God gave me with faith in Him, then nothing but my own worldly understanding.

Roman Crappers!

This shot of me and my bestest pal Michelle, on some old Roman crappers in Bet Shean, Israel.

So we are back!

Israel was amazing! Since I have been back, there isn't a day I wake up and want to take the next 16 hour-ish fight back.

But...May 2009, maybe it will happen again!

The Lord has a truthful sense of humor that keeps me in awe everyday. A...yeah!

Before Israel, the Lord and I had some talks, and He told me I wasn't going to get a job til I got back from Israel. Okay, that makes sense...? Money? Life? Working toward a career...? Well, I learned a good lesson on struggling makes you stronger and how weak one can be before they do not break.

So, we haven't even been back a week and I start a job on Monday in Carp, that I got yesterday. Say WHAT! Ummm...yeah! I can work from the office, my home or pretty much anywhere. Okay...I have a job in Carp (paradise), close to my church, I don't have a full long term committed job (but I could see it turning into one), my boss is cool, the position works towards raising money for rotary clubs all over the US, I will be using some skills from my schooling, working with Brookies and yeah much much more.

Interesting, very interesting...so just like in Israel when I sat back and floated in the Dead Sea and trusted one of God's miraculous wonders to hold me up, I am trusting in the Lord to guide and keep me afloat into my future. Sinking for me is not an option, I just have to believe. :)

Alan

I am kind of speaking with my biological father again. Hmmm... Our relationship has been rocky since I was about 13. Fears I have about him are weighing less now than they ever have. I still do not understand him fully, but some how we have a strong bond, duh! I won't give up on him. I keep on thinking, if he dies, I won't know what his beliefs are/were and where his salvation lies.

John 3:16 "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life."

My uncle (the youngest of 3) died a little over a year ago at the age of 50. That is way to young! I wonder every time I think of him, was he saved? Could I have done something to prevent anything? Most likely not. I am not the same person I was back then, that I am now. To talk about faith and the Lord! Oh no, not me. That would have been too freaky and pushy! Thank the Lord for saving me!

For a couple of years the Lord has put on my heart to speak with Alan (biological father). Getting over what happened in the past isn't that easy. The constant rejection from a person who gave me my physical makeup/life is difficult. I get frustrated and want to quit so many times, but God is good.

I just got an email from Alan today asking me some questions. One of them was: Do I have a boyfriend? Lol! He use to ask me that all the time when I was little. And the answer back then was, "Heck yeah, which one!" Lol! The questions made me smile. So in return I asked him if he had a girlfriend? I would like to know if there is a step mother in my future. Most likely not but anything can happen. Wierd! Hahaha! :)

The Lord is so amazing, gracious and merciful to give me such a patient and forgiving heart with this man. I would love to get to know him better and see if we can work on some kind of relationship and maybe share some of my faith with him. The Lord has great things in the works and I can't wait to wait for them. Heehee.

Just a picture for the day.

Simone's, VC