Alan

I am kind of speaking with my biological father again. Hmmm... Our relationship has been rocky since I was about 13. Fears I have about him are weighing less now than they ever have. I still do not understand him fully, but some how we have a strong bond, duh! I won't give up on him. I keep on thinking, if he dies, I won't know what his beliefs are/were and where his salvation lies.

John 3:16 "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life."

My uncle (the youngest of 3) died a little over a year ago at the age of 50. That is way to young! I wonder every time I think of him, was he saved? Could I have done something to prevent anything? Most likely not. I am not the same person I was back then, that I am now. To talk about faith and the Lord! Oh no, not me. That would have been too freaky and pushy! Thank the Lord for saving me!

For a couple of years the Lord has put on my heart to speak with Alan (biological father). Getting over what happened in the past isn't that easy. The constant rejection from a person who gave me my physical makeup/life is difficult. I get frustrated and want to quit so many times, but God is good.

I just got an email from Alan today asking me some questions. One of them was: Do I have a boyfriend? Lol! He use to ask me that all the time when I was little. And the answer back then was, "Heck yeah, which one!" Lol! The questions made me smile. So in return I asked him if he had a girlfriend? I would like to know if there is a step mother in my future. Most likely not but anything can happen. Wierd! Hahaha! :)

The Lord is so amazing, gracious and merciful to give me such a patient and forgiving heart with this man. I would love to get to know him better and see if we can work on some kind of relationship and maybe share some of my faith with him. The Lord has great things in the works and I can't wait to wait for them. Heehee.