This one made me think...

The source of evil is not God's power but mankinds freedom.

The Case for Faith by Lee Strobel.

Day by Day...

Aeschylus wrote: 'Day by day, hour by hour/ Pain drips upon the heart/ As, against our will, and even in our own despite/ Comes Wisdom from the awful grace of God.'

16 hours!

So yesterday I had a 16 hour day. The day before that was long too. How many hours? I really do not have the mental capacity to think back that far. Today, 8am to 11pm, that is 15 hours? Gosh! At this point I think I am too tired to go to bed. That is kind of awkward. I even left before others did. As I was leaving, I wanted to stay longer and work more! Ummm...earth to Cassie, NO! I think that was my smarter side yelling at me.

I thunked a little today. :)

As I was getting ready this morning, I noticed the cuts on my hands from work were healing. As I observed what was healed and what wasn’t, I thought to myself, isn’t it interesting over time my cuts healed with out me knowing it and so did many things that I have had to deal with pertaining to my life in the past 6 months.

I am reading, The Case For Faith by Lee Strobel. I read a quote:

Either God wants to abolish evil, and cannot; or he can, but does not want to; or he cannot and does not want to. If he wants to, but cannot, he is impotent. If he can, and does not want to, he is wicked. But, if God both can and wants to abolish evil, then how comes evil in the world?
Epicurus, philosopher

This quote really struck my attention. As I am sitting on the subway waiting to get to my stop to go to work, my mind started to race faster and jump to many different issues. I thought back to earlier this morning when I was observing my hands. I thought of how fortunate I was to know Christ before I knew real suffering. In the book there is a part where a woman lost her mother when she was really young. She thought God was punishing her for some reason. Just think, at a young age, it is hard to understand a loving and merciful God because a tragedy like that happens.

To not know true evilness in this world before one knows Christ saves us from the irrational mind that over thinks everything and cannot except a merciful God to allow evil.

I am so blessed to understand, at an earily age, surrender, letting go and to trust in Him.

Many situations are like cuts. Some are more willing to heal faster or heal at all, with or with out a scars. Some cuts, you do not realize the initial pain when you get cut because it is so mild. Then you see it and all of the sudden it hurts!

A physical scar will be in existence til the day you die. Don’t let our flesh reflect our walk on this earth. Let your over analytical spiritual scars heal. If not, then the spirit become like flesh.

When People talk to themselves in NYC it is kind of interestingly funny!

Today...I am still alive. I think my job description is to make the impossible happen and be in 2 places at once. I think I have already mastered it.

God is a funny guy who is always there for me. As I suffer each day, He is there for me and I love it. Reminding me in every situation, which I am noting without Him. As my days get more stressful, I have more joy in my heart than ever and I become happier and nicer. What is that? Who does that? Well, I call it a blessing. To be able to handle the abuse I go through as an intern is a miracle.

So, my day was really interesting. I am reading a book about Christian’s vs Atheism. This is my subway book. Instead of staring at people I read. It works. In this book there are many things to think about and study. I can't wait to have more time to explore the debates between the two and have answers when I come in situation such as the book is describing.

Well, the shoot went well today, no one died or got physically hurt. On one shoot a guy almost cut his finger off with a bagel knife. I guess in a time like that I can handle some blood everywhere and direct him to the nearest hospital to get stitches.

Back to the shoot, Julian Schnabel and his family are very nice people. As I was in the elevator bringing the crew their lunch, Julian decided to hop in the elevator with me. Okay...I know who he is but...okay. So he slyly, looked in my bag of goodies and asked me what it was. Okay, you can clearly see they are sandwiches, but being curious he asked, “What is in the bag?” I said, "They are sandwiches for lunch." Julian, "They are for the crew?" I said, "Yes, but you are more that welcome to have a tuna or turkey sandwich." Now, this is after I ordered him lunch from Pastis, which is a pretty well known eatery that is very good. Julian said, "No." I knew he wanted a sandwich, so I asked him, "Would you like me to order you a tuna sandwich from Ready to Eat?" I don't know what it is with guys and tuna sandwiches but I haven't met one that does not like them. So Julian said with a smile on his face, "Yes!" Okay, then a tuna sandwich for the man it is. Huh. Nice guy.

Okay that was a story I felt I need to write about why? I don't know, it was kind of cool, in the elevator with an artistic mind, and all he wants is a tuna sandwich and I have the AMEX to get it for him! Yesssssssssss! Spending someone else money and not getting the bill is a dream come true.

So…I handled my day and digested it in the end. I am starting to get to be a tuff old bird. I have to be able to hold my own and think really quickly during time of crisis. Especially when the Fashion Director of L’uomo Vogue needs his double espresso and I am trying to coordinate hair and make up with the moho driver calling me and confirming. Ahhh….composure is beautiful thing. Only by the grace of God, I tell ya.

At the end of my day, I left the crew with their dinner and call times for tomorrow. I took the subway home, got off and a gentleman who was homeless asked me if I had any food for him, that he could eat for dinner? Well, I remembered I had a bag of chips and a smashed donut in my purse. I pulled them out and said here this is what I have. He looked at me and said, "I am diabetic I can't eat the donut but I will take the chips." Huh? I laughed and thought to myself, "I guess beggars can be choosers!" Lol! Awkward! 

I finally made it home, did my 30 min workout and now I am going to wash off the stench of the day and go to bed. I have another long 3 days waiting of me.

Yippy Skippy for Moods Swings!

Today I woke up refreshed. Probably because I tried this new bubble bath that has Echinacea, tea tree and ginseng in it, I must say WOW! Or, it was because I surrendered to God about many anxieties that I have about life right now. Plus, at 11:40pm eastern time a good friend called. I was delirious and have no clue what I said because I was sleeping and accidentally left my phone on, but it was good to here her voice.

So, my alarm went off at 5:30am. Yes, I set if for 5:30AM! I got up went to the gym and listened to the whole book of Colossians and parts of 1Timothy. A little or a lot of God in the morning never hurts anyone. When I was done with my workout I went up to the apartment and got ready for work. Oh, Boy! Work! This week is going to be insane, as I have mentioned earlier we have 4 shoots! Ahhhh...

On the brighter side my MOM is coming to visit me! I am so excited to hang out with her. She is my best friend! I am already planning what we are going to do in my head. I told her this morning, that when she comes, it will not be Weight Watcher friendly. Lol! We will do enough walking so I wouldn't worry about it too much. But YEAH MY MOM!!! Plus my Aunts will be chillin with us. Nice!

I can't wait to see her! I am so in love with her and I fall in love with her every single day. You could say she is my rock on earth, when I get discourage she always reminds me I need to pray and trust in God.

So...today...

parted my hair in a different direction today. I know this doesn't seem important, but! I think it is why; I got hit on by some guy, who never had a chance. And a guy charged me for a tall Starbucks ice tea lemonade when I really ordered a grande. He knew what he was doing; I blame it on the hair parting. Hahaha!!!

Well, today I tried my 5th church since I have been in NY. Pretty interesting. Not bad but, something is just not fitting or feeling right. I don't know if it is my mind set or what. In some ways I think why get too involved? Why should I get attached when I am just going to leave? Hmmm...yeah I don't know my time is not my own anymore.

Anyways, the church was good; I guess it fit a little. I think I will go back. The people were nice, the prayers were sweet and the message sunk in as it smacked me upside the head (that is always a good thing). Good stuff, good stuff.

The rest of the day I went shopping and found some nice things. Then I went home watched movies and talked to some friends and family on the phone.

It was a nice day.