Seriously

I am still at work. Nice 14 hour day! Yippy skippy!

Strawberry Pop Tarts, without frosting, cold not hot.

Pop Tarts
My title has nothing to do with my blog. I was eating a Poptart and thought I would share, how I like my Poptarts.


TGIF
Understanding Our Own Calling
by Os Hillman, March 29, 2007

..."If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? You must follow Me." - John 21:22

Jesus was talking to Peter after he had just had a very important encounter with Him-one of the last meetings the two would have. This was the third time Jesus had shown Himself to the disciples after His resurrection. It is the famous dialogue between Jesus and Peter in which Jesus asked Peter three times if he loved Him. Jesus followed by commanding, "Feed My sheep." Jesus went on to foretell of Peter's future death. As they were walking together, John was with Peter and Jesus. Peter asked Jesus about John and whether he would die also. Jesus reacted sharply to Peter's comment, telling him not to worry about what John's role or purpose was in life. All Peter had to do was worry about fulfilling his own purpose.

As workplace believers we tend to measure our success on whether we have achieved a certain position or stature in life. Even as Christians the temptation to believe that someone is blessed if they have achieved prominence is always confronting us. In His discussion with Peter, Jesus was getting at the very heart of the matter of a person's calling. Peter was worried about whether his friend John was going to get the same lot in life as he was. Jesus told him it should not be his concern. He was to concern himself only with one thing: his own calling before God.

Are you tempted to compare yourself with where others are in their life? Are you dissatisfied with where God has you right now? Be of good cheer-"[be] confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus" (Phil. 1:6).

Lately, I am worrying about where God wants me to end up. The word worrying and God should never go together. Twice in my life I have packed my things and left to go somewhere new. I left Vegas to go to Brooks and I left Brooks to come to NY. I have not problem relocating, but I do have a problem when I don't have a plan and I am suppose to relocate?

At the end of May 2007, my profession as a full time student will be over. Now, what do I do? After NY, I really don't have a plan. Or maybe my plan is not to have a plan. I am 25, single, living in New York, my things are in Ventura, my car and family are in Vegas, I am going to travel some out of country between June and December, I don't want to commit to a job until I am 26 (nice!), I have a pretty good resume with a lot of experience and most likely I could get a job but where/why?

As this devotional stated, we shouldn’t measure our success. Worrying about my future is ridiculous. I should not worry; I should understand my own calling.

Since I have been at my internships, I have started to wonder, is this what I really want? I have done a photo internship with a Celebrity Photographer in LA and now I am in New York interning as a Production Assistant. To speak the truth, I am not impressed by any of it yet. Working long hours for someone or something, I don't believe in and I don't feel is representing me at all is tuff. When this is all over, there will be someone else to do the job I just did and I will just be a bleep on the radar. I know I shouldn't look at it that way but...it’s true!

As my one of my previous blogs stated, we may not be able to see the light in the time of darkness, but when it is over we will see.

Anyways, I have to smile a little because; if I would not have come to NY to do this internship I would have always wondered if I would have liked it or not. God definitely brought out here for a reason. Some of my conclusions on this are to help my Aunt Cathy with her faith, give me more confidence and understanding in life, take me out of my comfort zone to show me He is in control and not my emotions, help me get over my motion sickness (doing that with the buses, subways and trains), letting me see what I would or wouldn't be missing with the lifestyles I am going to lead and many, many more things.

I am glad God brought me out here. It is amazing to see myself change in my likes and dislikes throughout my life. 3 or 5 years ago I would strive for money and the dream job, working 12 hours a day and always being available for more success plus putting in my times on Sunday by just going to church. Now, I want Him and his Will for my life. I would be so happy with my semi little town, friends, family and more importantly time with God. But, only time will tell.

Saturday in Conneticut

Last night I took a train to Bridgeport, Connecticut to visit my Aunts for the weekend. This morning was one of the first mornings in a while that, when I wake up I will have nothing to do and no where to go. Or, so I thought. I woke up at 6:45am. Why? Why? Why?

Well, when I woke up I thought it was just my inner clock. But as I started to gain consciousness, I had an inner voice say to me, “Get up and go with Aunt Cathy to Sunday school on Saturday (religious ed).”

A little background on my Aunts, they are Catholic and were raised East coast Catholic. I was raised Catholic but I do not practice Catholicism anymore. I have been a Christian for a little over 7 or 8 years. Enough said. You can ask me later if you really want to know the story.

So, I get myself up out of bed, take a shower get dressed and out the door we go. I was excited because I love working with kids. Back in Cali I was the Scary Craft Lady. I like to call myself scary but I wasn’t, who am I trying to fool?

During this time at Saint Andrew’s I was caught in the middle of a nice debate about how to improve the junior high/high school groups. Oh Boy, I wasn’t ready for this one. As 2 adults and 2 teenagers were disusing this matter intensely, I realized that there was a lack of commitment and delegating, on both ends. Hmmm…we all have problems like this.

With the Catholic Church, I think you have to follow some guidelines of what you teach and when. Which is really different from how Ryan, the Youth Pastor at Reality does it. At Reality everything has to do with prayer. When I mention, this to my Aunt and others about praying on it, you could have heard a pin drop. This was just one of the many conversations I had that rocked my world.

After Religious school, my Aunt and I took a nice drive around Connecticut and had a deep talk about Religion. We stopped and had lunch at Super Duper Winnie. So good! Food on the east coast is GREAT!


When you are suffering what do you do? Well if you are truly a Christian you don’t get mad or frustrated, you dig into your Bible and get closer to God. Moving to NYC all by myself was difficult for me. I dug in my Bible, thirst for knowledge and you know what it paid off this weekend. With the knowledge I attained, I was prepared to preach to many about the Word, give analogies and understand where others were coming from with their problems and lack of knowledge.



We finally went back home and met my other Aunt, Ginny. From there we decided to go see a movie. Reign on me, was a great movie. I actually cried, again and again and again. What was really cool, the movie obviously was set in NY and I recognized place that were in the movie! Nice!

Then it was Bedtime! Yeah!

No Confidence in the Flesh

My Dad, Walter Darling, gave me this link. http://www.marketplaceleaders.org/ and it is a good daily devoitional online.

No Confidence in the Flesh


by Os Hillman

If anyone else thinks he has reasons to put confidence in the flesh, I have more. - Philippians 3:4b

The apostle Paul surely could relate to the business executive. Paul reached the height of his profession only to have it completely stripped and torn from him. What he thought mattered in life became rubbish compared to what God did in his heart as He destroyed what seemed valuable at the time. It took a dramatic event to bring Paul into this revelation. It took a bright light, blindness, and the most fearful experience a human could have - being addressed personally by God, who was questioning why Paul was persecuting His people.

It would not be too long after his conversion that Paul would learn one of the greatest lessons every child of God must learn. That lesson is to avoid putting confidence in the flesh. In our work we are rewarded for achievement. It is a "measurable" life. We work. We see results. We get certain feelings of accomplishment from these activities.

It was not until I was placed in a situation to experience utter failure that I could identify with the words of Paul. I have met other workplace believers as well who achieved great success in their business life only to experience dramatic failure. That personal handshake with failure leads to a realization that:

Whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in Him... (Philippians 3:7-9).

Sometimes God lets us experience great pain to learn the lessons of greatest importance. Knowing Christ intimately is the most important lesson we will learn. Take stock in what you find your greatest pleasure in today. Avoid placing your confidence in things that are but rubbish so that you might know Him more intimately.

Oh my! I got out of work on time!

Amazing! I actually got off of work on time, 9 to 6! Instead of working, 9 to 7 or 8. Well, well, well after work, me and some peeps from the studio decided to go to Magnolia's (a bakery that was on Sex and the City) and buy cupcakes. The cupcakes were $2 a piece! So I bought 2 and a mini caramel pecan cheese cake that is amazing! I am eating it right now. The cupcakes were kind of good. After that I and Phillip, a friend from Brooks, decided to go see the Empire State Building. We got to the building and saw a Disneyland line to get in, so that was a negative for the night. We ended up walking around, finding a coffee shop, sitting outside for a while and talking. We talked about school, his wife coming to visit, life and stuff. Good times, good times. After we were done we were on the move. It started to lightly rain. The rain was nice because the weather was at a great temperature, so the cool rain felt amazing.

As we were walking around, Phillip decided to try to find some socks? I guess he ran out? We never found anywhere to buy socks, but we did find a really really big library on 42nd and 5th? I think that is were it was. Anyways, the library closed at 6pm so, we ended up walking to Rockefeller Center. There, there was an outside ice skating rink. I was very surprised to see people ice skating outside because it was raining. Well, it was like a light mist/rain. The magical part was, as the people were ice skating it looked like they were ice skating on water. Hahaha, they were! What I mean is, since it was raining, the water had no place to go and wasn’t freezing temperatures, so it just chilled on the ice. Hahaha, get it, chilled! I know I am a BIG DORK!

As we stood there and watched the people skate, some were falling and getting soaked, we listened to some music that was playing for the skaters, I looked around at the tall buildings with lights and felt the inviting atmosphere all around me. I felt a sense of peace and happiness. I didn't think I would get these feelings so soon. I felt the feeling of complete peace and happiness, which makes you smile with comfort. Ahhhh… but reality check, it most likely will change next week because we have shoots Tuesday through Friday, grrrrr.

The night was came to an end. We walked around a little more toward my apartment and finally parted. I walked 8 more blocks home and yeah.

Final thought for the day: HAPPY BIRTHDAY MS. CLAY!!! XOXOXO

Just some shots...ya know...

I think this thing was frozen to the street.

This is where my bus got off of for work, but I am too cool to take the bus anymore, subway it is!

Conneticut

Public Storage here I come!

My new home for all my things in PS, CA

Yes...or...No

This post is for an amazing woman, who has more strength than she knows. I believe in her, love her and I am commited to her.