It is definitely a Ben and Jerry's Night.

So...today I had to go to work and deal with interesting attitudes, from around the world. Not really fun. I just am not into working anymore. Why, do it? Then I see a person on the subway with 20 million bags, who hasn't showered in weeks and is asleep. I guess instead of judging I should say a little pray. Dear God, thank you for all the gifts you give us each and everyday. Please help that woman I saw on the subway and give her a gift that has You in her future. Take care of her and touch her heart and mind in the most inspiring way possible with all of your light. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.

Hmmm...when I pray I feel better? Who knew? ;)

Before I got on the subway after work, I was talking with my mother on the phone. Some things have been happening in my family’s life, where I want to rush home and give my mom, dad and sister a big hug. Just be there for them, but I can't I choose to move 3000 miles away. Plus, my life isn't all peachy-king and I just need my Mommy/Family. Somehow being in NYC isn't that greatest anymore (this could make some happy).

So I am on the subway, I take the express to the local and would you know it the trains were miss-marked! The F was mark E! This is awful. I went 15 more blocks uptown than I should have! Well, I got on the train going downtown and I finally arrived at my stop.

Once I finally got off the subway, I continued speaking to my mother all the way home. The conversation was lightened by some jokes and me complaining about having a door man to open the door for me. Well, I wasn't really complaining, I guess I was just saying I could live without it. I was complaining about my air-conditioning in my car not getting fixed! My parents have had my car for 2 months, 2 quick months! I know, I know they have lives too. I told my mom that I would call my Big Sissy if it wasn’t done by the time I got back. The funny thing is, just before I said that my mom said, “Don’t call Amanda to come do it, we will get it done.” My mom the mind reader. Hahaha! I think the last thing I joked about was dinner. Oh, do I miss dinner being prepared for me! I got home at 8:30pm and started to make myself some ravioli. I didn’t want to make dinner, I was tired plus, it didn't have the twist on it that says, "I am hot and fresh and you did nothing to prepare me." The depressing part was I had to make the ravioli’s twice because my spaghetti sauce had mold on it. I found it after I poured it on my pasta and I thought about eating it because I was so tired but, that is just nasty!

Well, tomorrow is another day, a day closer to me leaving NYC (good or bad?) and a day closer to me getting my hugs from my family. But right now Ben, Jerry, some filling name Heath Vanilla and I are going to sit on the couch while Mr. Tub is getting filled.

Craving!

Today, I am craving IN-N-OUT Burger! This is an awful feeling! :(

Again today is pretty low key but I am going to get out of the apartment. I am going to try a new church called Origins.

I have exactly one month left in NY. My plane leaves to go to Chicago on June 6th, then on June 9th Seattle and then my last stop in Vegas on June 12th! Then Amanda and I are going on a little vacation June 16th through the 21st. Then I am headed to Cali to help a friend shoot a wedding! I AM SO EXCITED TO SEE ALL OF MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY! I have missed you guys SO MUCH!!! SOOOOOOO MUCH!!!

Didn’t want to move today!

I stayed in my apartment almost all day! I woke up about 10:30am and stayed in my PJ’s until about 2pm. It was glorious! I was in one of those moods where I just didn’t want to go anywhere challenging today.

I did laundry, went to the gym, picked up a couple groceries, talked to some peeps on the phone, got caught up in re-runs of Americas Next Top Model and stuff.

Later, I called Tiff and she came over. We ordered pizza for dinner and hung out. She wanted to go out tonight but I wasn't feeling it, so at about 9pm I walked her to the subway. It was a very nice night; the 16 block walk was enjoyable. Ahhh...NY with great weather...NICE!!!

Figuring out what I want.

Today I woke up at Tiff’s apartment and took a new way to work. I wasn’t feeling like I wanted to work today but as a responsible adult I went.

I arrived at work and grab a cup of coffee and headed up to my desk. Most of everyone that works at the studio is in Africa so it is pretty quiet. I started my duties for the day and all of the sudden my nice quiet day went away.  A person decided to loose their Passport in Africa! Ahhhhh!!! To try to get something done with passports on Friday after 1pm, good luck!

Luckily, after an hour ordeal they found the passport at the border in Swaziland. After all this excitement and rushing around calling people, I was over my day but I had to continue to work and research for our next shoots.

At lunch, Rhoda and I decided since it was Calla’s last day, another intern, we were going to get a little snack and have a party. Rhoda picked the menu of cheese and crackers, fruit and champagne. The party was to commence on the roof at 4:30pm.

4:30pm cam around and almost everyone in the office went on to the roof to partake in a little party time. Woo Whooo! .During this time I had my first drink of alcohol in a very long time. A little champagne to toast, it tasted kind of weird so, I think I will stick to my Coke’s when I go out with friends. Anyways that is a totally different story…



The night went on and I ended up staying until 9:30pm. At that point I decided I had had enough of whatever I was doing there. As I was walking to the subway to get home, I started thinking about why I didn’t have that much fun? I was in NYC at a party on the roof of Mark Seliger’s apartment, with people who are very influential to the business I went to school for. What is my problem? Why am I not connecting? I always love to hangout and talk to people. Wait…what? I chuckled to myself, and said, “Nothing is wrong.”

I am in a position right now where I am working with some of the best. The work Mark and his team produces is amazing! I always thought that is were I wanted to end up in my career choices. Not saying it isn’t where I am going to end up, but I pray God has more in my life for me that just having a party and working all the time. I want to live and make differences in people’s lives.

I finally realized, I don’t necessarily want to be in pre-production or at any fast paced job where you work for 3 weeks without a day off. I have already proved to myself, I can handle the work and maybe under other circumstances it would be totally different but this place isn’t for me. I really love Photoshop and Digital Imagery. I am also thinking along the lines of teaching and seminars. Who would of thought? I love production and post productions and most importantly working towards goals that are positive and not just another layout in a magazine to get a paycheck.

One thing I love and should appreciate more is God! He is so amazing and reveals things to you at the right time. I grew up in Vegas had that life (big city). Moved to Ventura/Santa Barbara/Carpenteria, went to school, church and worked there (grew in everyway possible). Moved to LA for 2 months (challenging). Then move to NYC currently still here. I have lived in many places and each has shown me strength and weakness.

Summing up my thought, I am trying to figure out how I can word this…What I thought I wanted isn’t anything I wanted but I didn’t think I wanted it now just back then? The right wording is in my head but it is just not coming out. Grrrr…

So, as I was walking and thinking about my night, my big revelation was, you can have everything you want materials, status, est., but if you don’t have fellowship through God, it really doesn’t mean that much. I was missing the people who make me the person I am.

Amazing morning light.

This morning I woke up to the most amazing light! At 6am the morning the sunlight was bouncing off the windows of the building next to mine and reflecting the most spectacular light. So what did I do? I took a picture. Did I do any saturation to the image? No! This is what it really looked like!

Little guy!

How cute is this? This little guy was just lying on the ground in CT. I took the picture and sprused it up a little in photoshop. Ya know complimentary colors or somethin somethin. It works! :



More exciting news! One of my bestest friends from Junior High & HS, is moving back to Vegas! She is going to Law School at UNLV! You go Becca! I haven't seen her in over a year! Now, I can go back to Vegas and see her and my family anytime!

Plus! Bonus! On my way back to the west coast I am going to visit her in Seatlle for the last time! Maybe...I can't wait! :)

I am so blessed!

It is 11:40ish here and I need to wake up at 6am. Hmmm...

Right now I feel like I can run a marathon. For the past couple of days I have been looking for a place to live in NY from April to May. Do you know how hard that is and how much $$$? Long story short because I need to go to bed. Now, I am able to stay right where I am and not move! The Lord is awesome!

Making this whole thing possible is Bill and Christine. Please keep them in your prayers. They have been amazing to me.

I don't deserve this, but it is very welcomed!