A little uncomfortable today

This morning I woke up in discomfort. My mind was racing, worrying, I was sweating and I couldn't really focus on one issue in life. Hmmm...what is that called? Anxiety!

Good morning attack! My mind raced with things like: What am I doing with my life? Where am I going? Job? Where am I going to live? Am I suppose to be living and growing in a big city or small town? Does it matter? Will I have fellowship? I am 25! I always imagined I would be somewhere else. Many, many more situations ran through my head.

I can definitely feel satan breathing down my neck, standing behind me pulling me toward him so tightly and not wanting to let go. I take a deep breath, accept my situation and open my Bible. I am reading James. And to my comfort I am in chapter 4 today. This chapter is about submitting yourself to God. I related to many things in this chapter and believe this was the perfect message for me today. After James I moved on to Proverbs 9. This chapter is about invitations of wisdom and of folly. Hmmm...wisdom and foolishness, being a wise person vs. a folly one, hmm…I think I just got knocked up side the head again. Foolish flesh, will you ever learn?

Today, I am really, REALLY struggling with people and my situations. I am very uncomfortable in my skin and being around others. I do not like these feelings of discontent. :( But! My FAITH keeps me strong in mind and mouth to know there are things greater than my discomfort and it can be controlled. I thank God that I understand and know how to deal with my anxieties. My life is great! God has blessed me with His love, grace, mercy, plus He has surrounded me with people who love me and won't ever let me fall. I am to submit, be humbled, repent and let go.

My favorite and most relatable song at the moment is:

If You Want Me To, by Ginny Owens

The pathway is broken
And the signs are unclear
And I dont know the reason why you brought me here
But just because You love me the way that You do
I will go through the valley
If You want me to

CHORUS:
Now I'm not who I was
When I took my first step
And I'm clinging to the promise
You're not through with me yet
So if all of these trials bring me closer to You
I will go through the fire
If You want me to

It may not be the way I would have chosen
When you lead me through a world that's not my own
But You never said it would be easy
You only said I'll never go alone

So when the whole world turns against me
And I'm all by myself
And I can't hear You answer my cries for help
I'll remember the suffering Your love put You through
And I will go through the valley
If You want me to